Up until recently, I had a certain perspective on support groups like AA, NA (narcotics anonymous), M.A.D., DARE etc. I believed that these groups were just coping mechanisms that over looked the greater need (that being Jesus). I was being judgmental at best. The more I heard my friend talk, the more I recognized that AA has some inherent benefits. I learned that people still attend these meetings even after being sober 20 years. My immediate response was "why would someone go to AA after being sober for 20 years?" The response was not what I expected. My friend said, "We need the accountability and don't want to relapse." Interesting. My friend really wanted me to attend an open AA meeting, so I tagged along.
I arrived with a half-hearted expectation to my first meeting. What I saw I didn't expect. There were about 30 people sitting around the room that looked and acted absolutely normal. These folks were hard working students, professionals, grandparents, and moms with their children. Where were the "downs and outs" giving AA a last ditch effort to escape the indwelling demons? Where were the sob stories and unbelievable situations? Where was the hopeless and helpless looking for a handout? The folks that I saw were well-dressed good looking guys and gals. They welcomed me with open arms and served up a good cup of coffee. I sat down a little uncomfortable as a realization came over me. These people were successful at conquering their issue at hand. Almost everyone in the room from what I could tell had been sober for months, most of them years. They were a success! I was the one that needed AA and I wasn't willing to admit it.
You see, I don't deal with an alcohol or drug addiction. I don't struggle with pornography and I have a thriving marriage. I'm not unemployed and I don't need a recovery program for re-entry into society after a period behind bars. I don't lie, cheat or gamble and I've never been to a strip club. Horror movies are scary to me and I don't own a gun, they're loud. I love my whole family, Jesus, apple pie and football. But I need help. I need an AA type meeting in my life. I need support. I need accountability. After I thought about AA and what it means, I've come to realize that I think we all need an AA type meeting. We all need a support group or small group or whatever you want to call it. We all have struggles. We all are on the road to recovery. We all struggle with our own demons. Some are external, some are internal. Pride, love of money, being a workaholic, insecurity, lack of focus, laziness to name a few. I will never again judge someone who nervously tells me that they've started going to an AA type meeting. Quite the opposite. I will celebrate them. I will encourage them and give them a man hug. Yes they need Jesus, but they are going in a positive direction. They've acknowledged their problem, realized they can't do it themselves and have taken a big, bold, courageous step in the right direction. Some people are completely liberated from an addiction the moment they encounter Jesus but come to realize there are still other issues they struggle with as time goes by. Accountability is a beautiful thing. Many issues need to be addressed and repented of as sin, but after this, how do we help prevent a relapse?
I don't deal with the afore mentioned issues, but I have a big struggle. One that continues to creep up and I've gone to counseling for it, even taken medication for it. Many people don't know this about me. It's not something I would normally go public with on social media, but I'm willing to now, thanks to my first AA meeting.
My name's Mark and I'm a fear-aholic.
I deal with fear. The littlest things trigger a fear mechanism in me, especially when it comes to my health and the possibility of not being there for my kids and wife down the road. I'm thankful for friends who have prayed with me, encouraged me and helped me the past 5 years. 2 Timothy 1:7 says "The Lord hasn't given ME a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind." The SPIRIT of fear is real and I've commanded that spirit by the blood of Jesus out of my life continually. And I claim this verse almost on a daily basis and I've prayed. My wife has prayed. But I need to take the next step.
There I've said it. I've nervously shared with you a vulnerable part about me. It's actually been quite liberating. I could care less if people look at me with a sideways glance now. I could care less if people judge me for not being perfect. I promise to not do the same with them. We all know we all have struggles. I'm taking my own bold step in a positive direction. I can't do it on my own. I'm looking forward to 20 years of freedom from fear, but for now, I'll start with the next 24 hours.
Now, who's courageous enough to join my small group?
No comments:
Post a Comment