We've decided to not go back

Jenn and I have been praying a lot about a big decision in our lives recently. This has not been an easy decision and it's even more difficult to talk about it. We've decided to not go back to a place that's very dear and near to our hearts. It has big implications now and huge implications down the road. It will impact our children in a way that we can't quite comprehend the outcome. In some ways I know they will be disappointed and in some ways I know they will be understanding, if not pleased.

I want to go back. There's a pull and a tug in my soul and there are places in my heart that scream for me to go back. But as I quiet myself and pray and seek the Lord's leading, I know he's directing me down a different path. One that maybe I've tripped over along the way or even wandered down for a brief period of time. There are certain aspects of the new path that we've gone down before and have become scared or even determined we can't do it. It's a path of the unknown.

I really want to go back, but the Lord is telling me no. I want to be involved in what I know. I want to do what I've done in the past. There's comfort there, and a sense of stability.

But we've decided to not go back.

We've decided to not go back to what we were doing. We've decided to not go back to the way we've gone before. We're sick of that path. We're done. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says that "if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old is gone, the new has come." We're no longer living in the past. There's no need to go there again. I'm new. I'm not the old Mark. The old Mark is gone, buried with Christ. The new Mark is here, but it's not even me that's living, it's Christ in me (Gal 2:20) who's alive and active. His life is expressing itself through me. This new life looks different, acts different and thinks different.

I'm not going back. I'm not going back to the old Mark.

I'm not going back to a sheltered life, cocooned off from the world.
I'm not going back to any debt. Being 100% debt free allows me to breathe and sleep soundly. (This was our first Christmas with absolutely no debt and paying cash for everything. Simpler. Peaceful.)
I'm not going back to no accountability. Even Christ was under the Father.
I'm not going back to not taking care of my body. How can I serve if my health fails?
I'm not going back to thinking a "job" has no potential for ministry. I represent Christ in any task.
I'm not going back to taking days off as a Dad. My kids come before ministry.

I'm not going back, to the old way of doing things. If (*when) I fail, I'm glad I have accountability brothers who will keep me in check. Therein lies the beauty of community. I take a stand and then others are there to catch me when I fall and help me back on my feet.

Are you willing to take a stand and make a list and commit it to prayer? To not go back? Who will you ask to help you? Without accountability in this particular arena, we're bound for disappointment and failure.