I lost my dad in June. We buried him on Father's Day weekend (after he had a stroke on Mother's Day). I knew that Thanksgiving wouldn't be the same, and it's the first major holiday that normally we would have been together. Things definitely changed after I got married (for the better, obviously) but the holidays are still usually celebrated with parents. Earlier this week I came home from running some errands and just sitting in my truck for about 5 minutes thinking about Thursday. I knew it would be tough, and I knew it would be difficult to go to my Uncle Maurie's house, his only brother. This is most likely what we would have done had he not passed just like every other year. We still planned on going to my uncle's, but it was with a heavy heart. I've only seen my aunt and uncle and my cousins once since the funeral. Little did we know that things would be drastically different this year...but for a different reason.
Jenn wasn't feeling well all morning. She really wanted to make a homemade apple pie to take to my side of the family for lunch and another one for her side of the family for dinner. I remember looking at her, as she was sitting at the table hunched over, and slowly peeling an apple. She didn't look well, and she said she felt horrible. It was bad enough by mid-morning that I asked her if she wanted to stay home. She said no, that she didn't want to mess up Thanksgiving with our family. By the time we got to my uncles, a half an hour away, she could barely move. Her stomach was aching and she ended up not eating anything and laying down in the back of our suburban. After lunch I checked on her and she said she couldn't get comfortable. After about 20 minutes, she came back inside and at that point I knew something was wrong. I asked her a few questions and as everybody listened in, I told her I thought it was a possible appendicitis (she said it didn't feel like an ovarian cyst, which she's had in the past). Everyone agreed, and my mom kept the kids, and I drove her car (let's just say rapidly) to the ER. Thankfully (no pun intended) there was NO ONE in the ER. Waiting room was empty, and after checking in and going through triage, we were immediately taken back to a room to be evaluated by the medical staff. Her urinalysis was negative and the blood work was inconclusive, and so a sonogram was ordered. It indicated no abnormalities with the reproductive organs, so a CT scan was ordered. The CT scan showed an appendicitis, which hadn't ruptured yet, thank goodness. The surgeon came in for a consultation and by 7:00 pm she was on the operating table. We had gotten to the ER at 1:30 pm.
My whole perspective has changed. I am thankful for the (very) quick meal I had for lunch. I'm thankful I got to watch football all afternoon and evening in the ER and waiting room. I'm thankful for my family and Jenn's mom who kept me company during the surgery (or I kept her company). I'm thankful for all of our friends that sent awesome messages via facebook and text messaging. But you want to know the thing that stuck out to me the most? As Jenn was being wheeled into the OR, we held hands and had a chance to pray together. It was short and to the point. When we said amen, everyone in the area had stopped, and the nurse pushing Jenn's bed said "amen" with us. At that point I knew. I knew the Lord was watching over us. The Lord still cared, and my wife, my babydoll, was in His hands. He orchestrated the whole day. This certainly wasn't the day that I asked for or what I initially wanted, but somehow this was apart of His plan. How can I complain about my awesome and incredible Jesus? How can I be saddened that MY plans didn't pan out? How can I in any way question God? His ways are so much higher than my ways. His thoughts are so much higher than my thoughts.
The day after the surgery, Jenn told me that God spoke to her. He told her to "Slow down." She's been working non-stop on her jewelry business. It's been good for the business, but tough on all of us. The Lord was getting her attention, just like when he got mine when I had my accident. His exact words to me, even before my car slowed down were, "Mark, you need to slow down." It was perfectly clear. He's getting our attention, He's calling our name, and He's wanting us to slow down. "Mark and Jenn, you need to slow down. Listen to my voice. And have a clarity of perspective." What am I absolutely thankful for this year? My God. He saved my wife from further harm and He called our names, again.
"I am yours, Lord. Do with me whatever you choose."
No comments:
Post a Comment