They are so wrong.

Meet Josphine. 

She is a beautiful young lady who attends Lighthouse Christian Church with us on Sunday mornings.  She is quiet and has a gentle spirit.  This past Sunday she touched my soul. 

I woke up Sunday morning a bit discouraged.  I was praying that the Lord would change my heart and my attitude.  

Mark was preaching in adult church (you know you work with children's church when you start calling it "adult church") so we were blessed to be able to sit in on the adult service.  I'll admit that my heart wasn't there.  I was struggling.  

After worship, this beautiful friend got up and read a poem that she had written.  The tears began to flow from my eyes. After service, I had her write her poem into my journal so that I could have it to read again and again.
Here is the poem that Josphine has titled "Thank You Lord." 

Thank you Lord

While the world looks upon me 

as I struggle along

They say I have nothing

but they are so wrong

In my heart I'm rejoicing

How I wish they could see

Thank you Lord for your blessing on me. 

There is a roof above me 

I have a good place to sleep

There is food on my table

and shoes on my feet

You gave me your love Lord

and a fine family

Thank you Lord for your blessing.

I know I'm not wealthy 

and these clothes they are not new

And I don't have much money

But I have you Lord

And that's all that matters 

though the world may not see.

What a perspective change I had that morning.  Although I had been struggling and things were weighing on me, my focus was moved.  My focus moved to the Lord; how good He is, how rich His blessings are that He's given to me.  My heart was changed.  The Lord spoke to my heart through this friend and I'm so thankful for that. 

So often, we as Americans, tend to look outwardly at things and base our happiness on what we have.  But, that's not how it's supposed to be.  Josphine has it.  She gets it.  She understands.  She knows that it's not about money, or clothes, or stuff -- It's about the love of Jesus and the blessing that it is to know Him.  When we breath our last breath it's not going to matter how much money we have, how well our children are dressed, how well our closet is stocked with brand name clothes.  It won't matter how much stuff we have at home or how immaculately decorated our house is.  It won't matter.  None of that will matter.  What will matter is that we have loved Jesus and we have devoted our lives to following Him.  

I want to be known for my love for Jesus.  I want to be known for having a servant's heart and having a love for His people.  If you were to come to my house right now, this is probably what you'll see: 

*3 adorable children who love Jesus.  They will most likely be dirty. They will probably have the same pair of shoes on that they've been wearing since we got here.  They most likely won't have matching clothes on, but they will have joy in their hearts and they will be happy to see you. 

*a mom who doesn't have it all together.  A mom who makes mistakes yet is clinging to Jesus for forgiveness and restoration.  A mom who loves people.

*A dad who leads this family with love and grace.  A dad who teaches us what it means to follow Jesus.  A dad who loves.

* A home that is home for us.  It's not 2 story or even 3 bedroom but it's home and we love it.  It's comfortable, it's a roof over our heads and it's a blessing.  

My perspective has been changed.  Josphine's poem spoke to my heart.  No matter what your circumstances are like, we must remember the blessings that God has given us.  We must remember that we are loved and cared for.  We don't have to have the stuff or the clothes or the house to prove it.  He's given us life.  He's given us hope.  He's given us His Son.  

That's more than enough for me.  

Finding my daughter...

Mady at Ripple Pond with Magic Island and the "Hornet House" in the distance

It's been dawning on me the last several months that I've never really gotten to know my eldest daughter Mady. I know about her (I know her favorite color is purple, her favorite princess is Belle, and that she's shy but very perceptive). I know about her, but do I really KNOW her? Similar to a favorite athlete or actor...we can know all about them, but we don't really know them. We know all of their stats or the timeline of movies they've been in. We know about their spouses, their vices in life and where they live, but we don't really know them personally. Some would say this about Jesus. 

Almost everyday, I ask Mady if she wants to go on a bike ride with me. And everyday we ride less, but talk more. She's starting to open up to me. She's told me things that I had no idea she was thinking. I've been pleasantly surprised about some things. Other things have been a little alarming, but that's ok. She's growing and learning and becoming her own person. 

This is a message to Dads out there. Maybe you have daughters, maybe you have sons. Here's what I've learned riding bikes with my 7 year old on the back stretch of a safari breeding ground in South Africa. 

1. Dad, your kids have an awesome imagination. Learn to imagine with them. I'm doing a 6-part series right now about "Heaven" in our children's ministry. How would YOU teach on heaven? You open the Scriptures and teach, but then you have to encourage them to dream, to imagine and to let their minds soar. Those who are excited about heaven start living for heaven. Mady and I always stop at this large pond (she named it "Ripple Pond," a great name) and we throw rocks from the waters edge. We've named the island "Magic Island" in the middle of Ripple Pond. She talks about fairies, and the "Hornet House" that's across the pond where we got swarmed by hornets when we went exploring. We feed the fairies and launch pieces of wood for boats for them to ride on. Some days we just sit on the dock and make up stuff. Imagine with your kids...their minds are alive with imagination. It will unite you together in ways you could never imagine.

2. Dads, never be scared to ask your children questions. "Mady, how does God want to use you here in Africa?" "I don't know, I'm only 7." "Oh baby girl, God has an AMAZING plan for your life!" "But you and mom are the missionaries, I'm not." "Yes you are babe. You can go up to little boys and girls who are sad or sick and offer to pray for them." "I can? But I would be scared." "I know, pretty girl, but God tell us in Joshua 1:9 "don't be scared or discouraged. And I will be with you and I'll never leave you." "God will help me not be scared?" "Yes babe." "Ok Daddy." At this point, I almost couldn't speak because of emotions. She honestly thought that God couldn't use her, that he called Jenn and I to Africa, but not her. Dad, it's your responsibility to teach your children! You have a calling, the highest calling to train up your children in the way they should go. Mady has heard literally 100's of my messages throughout the years, but until today, it never clicked for her. You can't depend on a sunday school teacher or pastor to spiritually train your children. There is just simply no replacement for a loving, caring, intentional parent.

3. Dads, you need to spend more than just an hour a week or a date night per month with your daughters and sons. I spend quality, intentional time with Mady each day (Sam and Hannah get quality time too). It took a few weeks, but she's starting to open up now. The first day riding, all we did was ride. The second day, she started opening up. Now, we have open communication. It's never too early (or too late) to start these dialogues. I didn't really start having these open dialogues with my dad until I was in my 20's and 30's, but I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world now. Mady doesn't care how much I know until she knows how much I care.

4. Dads, don't rush things. Sometimes, we walk more than we ride. The goal is not a 4 mile bike ride. The goal is not to finish in record time. The goal is relational growth. (When we get back to the house, I drop her off and go out for a quick 10 km ride for my exercise). Don't push them. We have years to encourage, strengthen and edify them. If Mady is scared to film a video about talking to boys and girls about Jesus, DON'T PUSH! She'll come around, but today she just wants to learn how to skip rocks in Ripple Pond. Dad, your daughter is fragile, she's tender. Treat her like a princess and she'll grow up to adore the king. 

I've had a gut check. A perspective check. A heart check. I can minister to 200 3-15 year olds on a Sunday morning and keep them spellbound for an hour and a half, but if I don't minister to my own 3 children, I've lost. I've lost the battle. I've lost the war. Turn off the TV (easy for me to say, we don't have one), power off the cell phone (oh my word, DON'T take it on your daddy/daughter date. Are you kidding me? What could POSSIBLY be MORE IMPORTANT than those precious eyes that adore you?) How about instead of surfing the internet, you go find a big box, cut some windows and doors in it, color and decorate it, and then take your daughter to the store, buy a new Barbie, go back home, and lay on the floor and dream and imagine with her about the prince coming to save the princess? You'll never regret one second of this priceless time. Be intentional Dad and she'll come to you for every step of this crazy journey we call life. 

PS. By the way, thanks to my amazing wife for encouraging me to spend more time with the kids. This pains me to say it, but she was right...

A Valentine's Date to Remember

After our ride

Yesterday afternoon Mady begged me to go on a bike ride with her. I wasn't feeling the greatest and so I asked her if she would like to join me for my 6 am ride through what I call "The Sanctuary" - a ride in the back stretch of the breeding grounds where we live. She agreed and we talked about what to wear and how long it would take. While I was at my weekly Rotary meeting last night Jenn said she talked about it nonstop, so I knew she was excited. I wasn't too sure she would be excited about getting up at 6 am though.

I woke up a little late myself (around 5:45 am) and I need to do a nebulizer treatment before I exercise and as I walked into our living room I found her there dressed in her workout clothes with her shoes already on (actually they were flip flops - I found out she doesn't have any sneakers here. That will change today.) I finished my nebulizer about 6:10 am and when I turned off the machine she told me "Daddy, we were supposed to leave at 6:00, we're late." Ok, she's ready.

We got our bikes and headed off into the wild country. She sky was radiant with little beams of light hitting the foothills with brilliance. We laughed at the monkeys, stirred up a big pack of impala and spooked about 8 Oryx grazing on the grass. We enjoyed the Guinea fowl and a host of other animals. It stormed the night before so everything was glistening and there was a freshness was in the air. I taught her how to pick "a line" to ride, anticipating grade changes, guiding through the puddles and mud and navigating the rocky terrain. Although I went half my normal speed, this was more than double the enjoyment.

After about 20 minutes she started to slow down (and her plastic flip flops kept slipping off her muddy pedals). We ended up walking our bikes and talking for the last 20 minutes of our journey. Apparently my 21-gear, dual-suspension Trek Superfly AL100 Elite mountain bike with 29" tires was too much for her department store special.

The conversation got a little quiet and finally she asked me about what we were going to do today since it was Valentine's Day. I told her I was speaking at a young adult service tonight and that we were going to the church this afternoon for the after school program that we help lead. I also told her that I was going to buy her a pair of sneakers as well (a very special treat). A few minutes later she quietly asked "Did you get an email from Nonny?" My response was "yes." Her face lit up with anticipation and joy.

You see, this wasn't just any email. We've been checking and checking our email for the past 2 days waiting for an email. Actually, an attachment. An email attachment with a copy of our birth certificates and marriage license. You need them to be able to submit the paperwork to become foster parents and to adopt a little boy from South Africa...

A week ago we visited a baby shelter (an orphanage) with the missions team that was here. The moment we walked in, the Lord spoke to both Jenn and I individually about one little boy that was there. We didn't tell each other anything that day but that night, as we were getting ready for bed, I nervously mentioned that something had happened at the baby shelter that day. Jenn told me that something had happened in her heart too. We started talking and we both realized that the Lord had given us a heart and an affection for the same little boy. We had both heard God speak to us about adopting...again. We were a little overwhelmed. "Is God doing something?" "Is the timing right?" "How will this affect our children?" "Can we afford it?" "Can an American living in South Africa adopt a boy from South Africa?" The questions just kept pouring in. We were both cautiously optimistic, considering how enormously disappointed we were when we started the adoption process in 2012 and things went south. We cried out to the Lord in prayer.

As the days went by, we couldn't stop thinking about this little boy. We met with the social worker this week and got the application paperwork. It's all filled out, we just needed a few of those documents that my mom sent me. We are cautiously stepping forward right now, realizing this is a marathon, not a sprint. Knowing that as foster parents, we could lose the child any day if the biological family steps forward. Our hearts could be ripped from our chests, but we have to acknowledge that God did something last week and that we must act upon it by faith in submission to him. "Lord, we're asking that you'll do this for us. Our children are walking in faith in this journey with us. They've already nicknamed him Daniel. This will change our lives. Change our family tree. It will change us. Hear our cry we ask."

This is truly a day we'll never forget. I'm not sure how you are spending your Valentine's Day, but we are doing something that is in our hearts. We are loving. Loving children. Loving on the unlovely.

Loving orphans. 

Happy.Valentine's.Day. 

"Pure religion that God accepts is to take care of the widow and the orphan in their distress and to keep thyself pure from the world." 

James 1:27

Church is for cowards, wussies and wimps

A friends of mine recently contacted me and said that she was thinking about finding a new church home. Although she's had a difficult couple of years, I applauded her desire to connect with a new fellowship of believers. As she and I have chatted about what to look for in a church, it dawned on me that church is often viewed as a place for "happy, smiling, perfect people" with "2.5 kids, an SUV, a mortgage and 2 weeks paid vacation per year." The dad is clad in khakis and a pressed polo and the mom sports the latest designer scarf, perfectly matched discounted skirt (it was 30% off!) and knee high boots.

Wait, maybe I'm just describing us.

As I search the Scriptures and especially the book of Acts, a different perception is portrayed. The believers in Acts shared everything they had with each other (Acts 4:32), worked all night - in prayer and preaching (Acts 20:7-12), celebrated "life together" (Acts 2:44) and even were willing to meet in an upper room for days on end in prayer (Acts 1:13). The notion of showing up on Sunday and warming a pew for an hour just wasn't an option.

If we were to practice these types of activities in modern days, I believe most would consider us a cult, which wouldn't glorify Christ. However there is a way for us to share "Life Together" as the German philosopher Dietrich Bonhoeffer described in his popular book before he was hung in 1945. Life together is openness. Accountability. Growing together. Learning together. Praying for one another. Freedom to be. Freedom to laugh and snort.

My friend and I have had quite a few discussions on what to look for in a new church home. Is the preaching the #1 thing to evaluate? How about the "friendliness" of the church? How about a good children's ministry? An annual cookout? Comfortable seating? Nicely tuned worship band? Ease of location or a close parking spot for visitors? I absolutely agree that a solid church community should have biblical preaching, fellowship, worship and prayer (Acts 2:42). And I absolutely believe there should be small groups that stand for one another, pray for each other and have an accountability system put in place. The #1 consideration however is "Lord, where are YOU planting me in your body?"

You see, church should not be a community of perfectionists who put on their Sunday best and pretend they have no problems. Church should be more like...a hospital. A place for those who can "come as we are." A place for the down and out. The misfits. The sad, the broken. Jesus himself said that "it is not the healthy who need a doctor, healthy people don't need a doctor, sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners." (Mark 2:17). Jesus the great physician, calls the imperfect - the sinners, and welcomes them into his house.

The message of the church is for cowards. He promises in Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you…"

The message of the church is for wussies. He promises in Isaiah 41:13 "I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand, and says "Do not fear, I will help you..." 

The message of the church is for wimps. He promises in 2 Corinthians 12:9 "My power is made perfect in weakness…"

He takes us where we are and elevates us to the next level. He leads us into deeper intimacy with him. He calls all of us, even the cowards, wussies and wimps into his home. The church should welcome such with open arms…Jesus does.

Maybe, just maybe, we need to have a new viewpoint of the church. Maybe we need to change our perception of who goes to church. Maybe we need to welcome those who come in who don't fit into our "box." Maybe we need to recognize that the church is a place for healing. Maybe the church should be a safe place where we embrace each other's problems and speak love and edification, rather than look at someone with a judgmental, haughty, condescending side-ways glance derived out of pride, arrogance and self.

And maybe, just maybe, the cross on the steeple needs to be replaced with a new cross. A reminder of the spirit of the cross. A cross that looks like…this.

We've decided to not go back

Jenn and I have been praying a lot about a big decision in our lives recently. This has not been an easy decision and it's even more difficult to talk about it. We've decided to not go back to a place that's very dear and near to our hearts. It has big implications now and huge implications down the road. It will impact our children in a way that we can't quite comprehend the outcome. In some ways I know they will be disappointed and in some ways I know they will be understanding, if not pleased.

I want to go back. There's a pull and a tug in my soul and there are places in my heart that scream for me to go back. But as I quiet myself and pray and seek the Lord's leading, I know he's directing me down a different path. One that maybe I've tripped over along the way or even wandered down for a brief period of time. There are certain aspects of the new path that we've gone down before and have become scared or even determined we can't do it. It's a path of the unknown.

I really want to go back, but the Lord is telling me no. I want to be involved in what I know. I want to do what I've done in the past. There's comfort there, and a sense of stability.

But we've decided to not go back.

We've decided to not go back to what we were doing. We've decided to not go back to the way we've gone before. We're sick of that path. We're done. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says that "if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old is gone, the new has come." We're no longer living in the past. There's no need to go there again. I'm new. I'm not the old Mark. The old Mark is gone, buried with Christ. The new Mark is here, but it's not even me that's living, it's Christ in me (Gal 2:20) who's alive and active. His life is expressing itself through me. This new life looks different, acts different and thinks different.

I'm not going back. I'm not going back to the old Mark.

I'm not going back to a sheltered life, cocooned off from the world.
I'm not going back to any debt. Being 100% debt free allows me to breathe and sleep soundly. (This was our first Christmas with absolutely no debt and paying cash for everything. Simpler. Peaceful.)
I'm not going back to no accountability. Even Christ was under the Father.
I'm not going back to not taking care of my body. How can I serve if my health fails?
I'm not going back to thinking a "job" has no potential for ministry. I represent Christ in any task.
I'm not going back to taking days off as a Dad. My kids come before ministry.

I'm not going back, to the old way of doing things. If (*when) I fail, I'm glad I have accountability brothers who will keep me in check. Therein lies the beauty of community. I take a stand and then others are there to catch me when I fall and help me back on my feet.

Are you willing to take a stand and make a list and commit it to prayer? To not go back? Who will you ask to help you? Without accountability in this particular arena, we're bound for disappointment and failure.

Lessons from across the pond (posted by Jenn)

(I wrote this post for our most recent update letter regarding our first 3 months in South Africa.  If you would like to be added to our email list to get our updates, let me know.)  

When asked if I would write about a few of the moments that specifically touched me through these past 3 months, I had to pause.  That's a difficult question... so many people, so many events, so many things have touched my heart while living in South Africa.  I have made what I know will be life-long friendships.  I've seen things that I never imagined seeing in my lifetime.  I've been a part of something much bigger than myself.  I've been blessed.

I left America with no idea of what this next adventure would be like.  I had never been to South Africa - only seen pictures.  I felt very much like Abraham must have felt... packing up and heading to a country that he didn't know.  But, as did with Abraham, my faith grew tremendously during this time.  I'm so grateful for the opportunity to be a part of the ministry that is happening in South Africa.  I'm so thankful that I've been able to experience all that I have so far.  I'm thankful to be a changed person.

I'm blessed to have been able to meet a sweet little girl at the Children's Home in our area.  I felt drawn to her the first time I saw her.  We played, hand in hand, the whole time I was there, even though she didn't speak a word of English.  She changed me.  She has a piece of my heart.  I learned that she is very sick and that breaks my heart.  I'm looking forward to the visit where I can see her again and whisper to her, once again, while sitting on the swing, that "Jesus loves you and so do I.  Very much."

 I'm beyond grateful for the opportunity to be able to teach at the country school down the tar road from us.  I was quite nervous the first time I stepped in the school, but now I dislike leaving those sweet children.  I love teaching them the love of Christ right along with a dose of English.  They are beautiful.  They are so loved.  Every.  Single.  One.  Of.  Them.  In all actuality, they are teaching me MUCH more than I could ever teach them.  They have melted my heart with sweet conversations, hugs, contagious smiles, and letters calling me "mom."  I'm much more than a teacher to them... I'm Jesus.  And I am privileged to spend every second I can with them. 

I'm honored to be around the beautiful children at Lighthouse Christian Church multiple days each week.  I love the hugs, the high-fives, cool handshakes and finger snaps that I get every time we are there.  I love seeing the children run to our truck as we pull into the church.  I love hearing them yell for us as we leave.  I love holding the little ones when they can't sit through church.  I love picking up the ones who have fallen down and scraped a knee.  I love praying with the older kids who are feeling hurt or discouraged.  I love talking with them - learning about their lives.  I love watching my children love on them - and vice versa.  I love them.  All of them.  Every single precious child who walks through the gate.  They are part of my family.  We are all a part of God's family.  

Over the past couple of months, I've grown especially close to a small group of girls ages 13-14.  I'm digging into their lives, praying with them, loving on them, teaching them about God's unconditional love... But, like I said before, they are teaching me much more.  They've become "my girls."  I'm so thankful that they trust me enough to pour out their lives to me, and in turn I have the great privilege of sharing love, life and truth with them.  The letters they have written to me will be something that I cherish forever.  Leaving was much harder than I had imagined.  The impact that they have had on me I can assure you is much bigger than the one I hope I can have on them.  The light that shines through these girls is incredible considering the circumstances that they deal with on a daily basis.  God is at work and my heart is full.  I will continue to encourage them, uplift them, and pray with them as we move forward.  I'm looking forward to very BIG hugs when we get back to South Africa. 

My heart is for the children of South Africa - the orphans, the vulnerable children.  All of them.  When I think about what has most impacted me while I was there, it was by far the ministry, the children.  I'm honored to be in South Africa serving the Lord by loving on His children.  Those hugs, those amazing smiles, those tears from those sweet children remind me that i's all worth it.  

Giving up everything to serve Jesus is worth it.  Completely worth it.  

Pray for me: I finally broke down and went to AA

A friend of mine has found going to AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meetings extremely beneficial. They have said on several occasions that I should come along sometime. They wanted me to meet their friends and be introduced to the support group. There was a special speaker speaking recently, so I broke down and went. What I didn't realize is that I needed AA more than I was willing to acknowledge.

Up until recently, I had a certain perspective on support groups like AA, NA (narcotics anonymous), M.A.D., DARE etc. I believed that these groups were just coping mechanisms that over looked the greater need (that being Jesus). I was being judgmental at best. The more I heard my friend talk, the more I recognized that AA has some inherent benefits. I learned that people still attend these meetings even after being sober 20 years. My immediate response was "why would someone go to AA after being sober for 20 years?" The response was not what I expected. My friend said, "We need the accountability and don't want to relapse." Interesting. My friend really wanted me to attend an open AA meeting, so I tagged along.

I arrived with a half-hearted expectation to my first meeting. What I saw I didn't expect. There were about 30 people sitting around the room that looked and acted absolutely normal. These folks were hard working students, professionals, grandparents, and moms with their children. Where were the "downs and outs" giving AA a last ditch effort to escape the indwelling demons? Where were the sob stories and unbelievable situations? Where was the hopeless and helpless looking for a handout? The folks that I saw were well-dressed good looking guys and gals. They welcomed me with open arms and served up a good cup of coffee. I sat down a little uncomfortable as a realization came over me. These people were successful at conquering their issue at hand. Almost everyone in the room from what I could tell had been sober for months, most of them years. They were a success! I was the one that needed AA and I wasn't willing to admit it.

You see, I don't deal with an alcohol or drug addiction. I don't struggle with pornography and I have a thriving marriage. I'm not unemployed and I don't need a recovery program for re-entry into society after a period behind bars. I don't lie, cheat or gamble and I've never been to a strip club. Horror movies are scary to me and I don't own a gun, they're loud. I love my whole family, Jesus, apple pie and football. But I need help. I need an AA type meeting in my life. I need support. I need accountability. After I thought about AA and what it means, I've come to realize that I think we all need an AA type meeting. We all need a support group or small group or whatever you want to call it. We all have struggles. We all are on the road to recovery. We all struggle with our own demons. Some are external, some are internal. Pride, love of money, being a workaholic, insecurity, lack of focus, laziness to name a few. I will never again judge someone who nervously tells me that they've started going to an AA type meeting. Quite the opposite. I will celebrate them. I will encourage them and give them a man hug. Yes they need Jesus, but they are going in a positive direction. They've acknowledged their problem, realized they can't do it themselves and have taken a big, bold, courageous step in the right direction. Some people are completely liberated from an addiction the moment they encounter Jesus but come to realize there are still other issues they struggle with as time goes by. Accountability is a beautiful thing. Many issues need to be addressed and repented of as sin, but after this, how do we help prevent a relapse?

I don't deal with the afore mentioned issues, but I have a big struggle. One that continues to creep up and I've gone to counseling for it, even taken medication for it. Many people don't know this about me. It's not something I would normally go public with on social media, but I'm willing to now, thanks to my first AA meeting.

My name's Mark and I'm a fear-aholic. 

I deal with fear. The littlest things trigger a fear mechanism in me, especially when it comes to my health and the possibility of not being there for my kids and wife down the road. I'm thankful for friends who have prayed with me, encouraged me and helped me the past 5 years. 2 Timothy 1:7 says "The Lord hasn't given ME a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind." The SPIRIT of fear is real and I've commanded that spirit by the blood of Jesus out of my life continually. And I claim this verse almost on a daily basis and I've prayed. My wife has prayed. But I need to take the next step.

There I've said it. I've nervously shared with you a vulnerable part about me. It's actually been quite liberating. I could care less if people look at me with a sideways glance now. I could care less if people judge me for not being perfect. I promise to not do the same with them. We all know we all have struggles. I'm taking my own bold step in a positive direction. I can't do it on my own. I'm looking forward to 20 years of freedom from fear, but for now, I'll start with the next 24 hours.

Now, who's courageous enough to join my small group?