A Very Careful Love

I've been studying and meditating on the book of Joshua for a few months now. I love the book of Joshua. It's a book of struggle, war, conflict, defeat and victory. Joshua was the second person to lead the Jewish people in their early history. He spent the early part of his life training under Moses and took over for him when the Israelites entered the land of Canaan. Joshua's charisma and skill as a leader are evident from the success of the Jews during his lifetime, and their rapid decline following his death. Indeed, not until Samuel's reign hundreds of years later do the Israelites find a comparable leader. Joshua is a man's man and he is an example of courageous leading and listening to the voice of God.

As I was reading in Joshua 23 this morning, I couldn't help but notice the vibrant language that this Hebrew author penned in verse 11 "So be very careful to love the Lord your God." How we need to carefully love the Lord. So easily we can become sloppy, careless or even apathetic in our love towards him. "So" is a conjunction, joining this thought to the previous textual verses. Verses 9-10 are a reminder that the Lord has fought for them and he has fulfilled his promises. Joshua reminds the Israelites "So" or "therefore" because of this, carefully love God. An exegetical study on this verse was intriguing:

Be careful: take heed, watch, guard, protect, retain
Very: exceedingly, abundant, with force, power, might
Love: to breathe after

We are to literally be very careful how we love and what we love. The love that he's talking about is a love that is like a passionate lover, to breathe after someone in anticipation and exhilaration. I'm called to have that type of love for my Lord. With force, power and might I'm to fight for my love towards God, not allowing anything to deter me from this pathway of love.

 Stumbling Blocks

There are often stumbling blocks that are placed in this pathway of love, stumbling blocks that we must address and have removed. Some of these are the consequences of sin, some of them are the attack of the enemy, while others are stumbling blocks that have been placed in our lives by the poor choices we've made.

Joshua 23:12 tells us that there is a progression on how our love wavers and becomes ultimately deterred from the almighty God.

1. But if you turn away - In a moment, our eyes can deflect off of the love path and glance to the left or to the right (v6). We can turn away from our first love or worse, we can literally look back at the world we've just left, like Lot's wife (Gen. 19:26). Turning away can be a momentary glance, a longing stare, an apathetic and complacent devotion or a defiant stance. There are many things that create a diversion in our lives from the Lord and onto something else.

2. and ally yourselves - The next step after a glance is we begin to set up a relationship with the world. We can befriend and associate ourselves with things other than God. Sometimes we rationalize this relationship and suggest that it's not that we've left the Lord, but that we are pursuing an opportunity that has come across our path. We then begin to love this opportunity more than the one from whom the opportunity has originated (God). Our allegiance becomes horizontal rather than vertical in nature.

3. and if you intermarry - The glance that turned into an allegiance has now become a marriage vow. To love the world and to have a loving relationship with the godless is to deny the Lord and to re-direct our first love to the temporal trash. We can breathe after our God or we can breathe after this world. The apostle John tells us that if we "love the world, the love of the Father is not in [us]" (John 2:15). If the love of the Father is not in us, we lose all of the power, vitality and wisdom that he affords. We lose our lifeline and the source of our strength. We will lose his hedge of protection "then you may be sure that the Lord your God will no longer drive out these nations before you." (Joshua 23:13a). There are things in our lives that we can passionately love more than Him (recreation, friends, family-focus, child-focus etc). How we spend our time, what we spend our money on and what excites us are pretty good indicators of our heart's desire.

4. and associate with them - This term associate is a term that means a business partnership and is yet another aspect of a romance with the world. The Lord tells us to not even have a business relationship or partnership with someone who is apart from Him. He gives us these instructions to preserve us, keep us and save us. The world loves money. The world loves power. The world loves self. But we have a different set of values and love. Our pathway is different from the world. We have an eternal and vertical vision, the world has a temporary and horizontal vision. We can easily love these business partnerships (money and career etc) much more than we love Him.

Canaan - the Promised Land

To deny our relationship with Him and to turn our love, vision, allegiance and partnership to the world will cost us everything. "[These nations] will become snares and traps for you, whips on your backs and thorns in your eyes, until you perish from this good land, which the Lord your God has given you." (23:13b) Our God has promised us a good land! He is fulfilling his promises. He is leading us to the promised land! I don't want to forfeit all that the Lord is doing in my life and has promised to do. This obviously doesn't preclude me from loving and serving others, but I do want to "be very careful to love the Lord [my] God" and nothing else of this world.

An Unsettling Feeling

I just finished reading a rather descriptive discourse on the physical, psychological and emotional atrocities that missionary Richard Wurmbrand endured during the Soviet dictatorship in Romania in the 1960's and 70's. To read of the wicked men that tortured believers for their faith in Tortured for Christ begs the question "Why would a man or a woman stand for Christ, fully aware that there was a strong possibility of an imminent death for them and their family?" The summarized response is that "the love of Christ constrains us." We love him because he first loved us (1 John 4:19). As I sat and pondered this question this morning, the Lord gave me a terrifying realization regarding the fate of mankind.

I've been a believer and follower of Christ nearly my entire life. I received Christ when I was 6 years old, a few years after my mom and brother were killed in a single car accident on Interstate 80 near Atlantica, Iowa. I was with my dad in the vehicle in front of them. After my dad remarried, my step-mom took me to a youth group and the first time I heard the gospel ("good news") message, I surrendered my life to Christ. I was compelled by Christ's love for me, and that he died for me. This understanding floored me. I had never equated death with love. For the previous 3 years, I had equated death with sorrow, sadness and pain. To become an only child with a now single parent was very difficult to withstand. But when I heard the gospel message, I was mesmerized by its clarity, its calling and its commission. I received Christ on my hands and knees in Pastor Triestram's office, not because I understood justification or sanctification, but because I didn't want to go to hell. Christ's love and subsequent death on the cross provided a way of salvation from hell. That was the basis of my conversion as a little boy. When I got up off the floor that night, I felt like a 1000 pound pack was removed from my back. I was already carrying around that much "baggage." Having responded to the love of Christ, I knew I was commissioned to preach the gospel, and that week, I shared the gospel with Matt C. out on the playground (also telling him that he was going to hell if he didn't accept Jesus. Not sure why we weren't friends after that...)

As I sat on the couch this morning and thought about Tortured for Christ, I had a very unsettling awareness sweep over me. It was an awareness of the reality of hell. I have a hard time understanding hell. I also have a hard time understanding eternity. As difficult as it is to comprehend eternity forward, it's significantly more difficult for me to comprehend eternity past, that the triune God-head has always been. Always has been. I digress. It's hard for me to imagine an eternity of wedded bliss with my Savior. I look forward to sharing in the glory of heaven with the saints around the throne, and that I will never, ever, ever have to leave that glorified state. The cosmos will become our playground, ruling over galaxies as priests in His house. For eons upon eons, I will continue to worship my Savior. Literally billions and billions of years infinitely multiplied by billions of years. Never, ever leaving. For all of eternity. I cannot comprehend the magnitude of infinite. Words are bankrupt. "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn is one of my favorite books, can you tell?

However, not everyone will experience the joy of His presence in the New Heavens and the New Earth. Many will lick the flames of the lake of fire for eternity. Imagine being in a place of eternal hellish torment under those exact same [time] parameters. It is quite terrifying. I had a very, very unsettling awareness of the reality of this hell this morning. Never, ever leaving this horrifying place and for all of eternity being in a state of loneliness, decay (Mark 9:48 "their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched") and anguish for my unforgiven sins (a just punishment) is more than my feeble mind can comprehend. I praise God for his saving grace and that Christ died upon that wooden cross for my sins, the things I've done wrong. My sin, my selfishness, my corrupt nature took him to Golgotha. I will forever be thankful for that simple prayer that I prayed, asking Christ to be my Savior, in the fall of 1982.

To really respond to the salvation story is to respond to the call to witness for Christ, to be his ambassador and to tell others about this saving grace. I cannot comprehend going to hell. I cannot imagine headed to that eternal prison, never to leave.

I have been strengthened to be his witness, a calling worthy of ridicule, persecution or worse. "Lord, thank you for this unsettled feeling. May it never wane cold."

An Inconvenienced Life

First of all, I would like to thank so many of you for praying for us during the last several weeks. It's been quite a ride. I ended up having a nasal procedure performed to remove the infection last Wednesday and I was released on Thursday afternoon with a 2 week supply of antibiotics. The great news is that this type of infection was a very typical infection and sensitive to antibiotics, so there's a 100% chance of complete recovery. The procedure by the facial surgeons was pretty rough (ok, horrible) but I felt immediate relief from it. Nose is pretty much back to normal. The Lord is at work and the enemy is raging. We had our moments of discouragement, but through the promises of God, we were reminded of His goodness and His hedge of protection.

I just finished a great book by David Platt called "Radical Together." This is the sequel to "Radical." The basic premise of the book is that the church needs to be engaged in a strong world view, and that "otherness" will help usher in the kingdom of God. We read in Revelation 7:9:

"After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands."

In order for Revelation 7:9 to occur, every nation, every tribe, every people and every language needs to be represented. To pinpoint, every nation (in the original Greek, nation is defined as "ethnos" or ethnic group) needs to be represented. Therefore, as Christians and the universal church, it is our responsibility to respond to the gospel call and go "preach the gospel to every person." (Mark 16:15 - the first verse I ever memorized right after I received Christ as my Savior.) The issue is that there are many "ethnos" groups, or ethnic groups that have never heard the name of Jesus. I've heard conflicting numbers of unreached ethnic groups (unreached people groups, or UPGs). Platt indicates there are over 6,000 UPGs still on planet earth. I've read in other articles, of the 16,500 total ethnic groups on planet earth, as many as 7,100 are still UPGs. 42% of the ethnic groups are still UPGs or 2,900,000,000 people! A UPG is defined as an ethnic group with  <2% Christians in that particular ethnic group. The best site for a clear understanding of UPGs is http://www.joshuaproject.net/index.php 

Reverting back to Revelation 7:9, how could there be a representative from "every nation, tribe, people and language" but that Christians respond to the missionary call? We have our work cut out for us. The global church needs to mobilize believers to go into the highways and byways and bring the good-news (gospel message) to unreached ethnic groups. This isn't easy, and it's certainly not convenient. Matter of fact, Platt says that it will be "an inconvenient life." 

Having a vision for UPGs in no way diminishes preaching the gospel and being Christ's ambassador in your own backyard. Matter of fact, as you stand for Christ wherever you live, your vision for people will be contagious and the Lord will lead people from your own community into the mission field as they "catch your contagious vision." We all need to have a vision for UPGs but we also need to have a vision for our neighbor down the block. How do you fulfill both? One example is go on an international missions trip once a year.

I sent Jenn a message yesterday while I was reading this book while waiting for my physical therapy appointment. Here's what I wrote, "I'm getting an assurance in my soul. However, can we agree that no matter what happens, God is leading us even if it means standing in harm's way for the sake of the gospel? Losing our lives or sipping our lattes? This book has confirmed it for me. Any missionary faces these choices of predicaments. We will use wisdom..." 

Without hesitation, I received back a response:

"Let's go."

Two words with infinite meaning, but for us a very finite one. Let's go. Let's go be inconvenienced. Let's go and live outside the world of lattes and lavish materialism. Let's go and stand in harm's way, even if it means death. Let's go and impact people for all of eternity. Let's go and have a generational impact on our genealogy. Let's go and bring the gospel to UPGs. Let's go and be "others-centered." Let's go and respond to the call of God and be obedient to his commissioning. Let's go, and do this...together. 

My wife and I are teaming up. We are relying on Him. We are scared to death, (*ahem) I mean walking by faith. "Lord, continue to lead us, guide us and direct us. This has nothing to do with us. You don't need us, but you do love us, and you do love unreached people. We thank you that our lives are in your hands. We are your willing servants." Amen.

I'm Not Ashamed

During Fusion last Tuesday, I started feeling a little sick. I wouldn't have gone had I thought I was contagious, however we had an absolutely incredible time discussing "Act Like Men" from 1 Cor 16. I believe all that were there were blessed.

I woke up on Wednesday morning with a very sore nose. The kids chided and said that I looked like Rudolf. It was very painful and covered the whole tip of my nose and left nostril. I ended up soaking in the shower several times to relieve the pain and even broke down and took some pain meds (that I'm trying to step-off of due to an accidental pain med addiction that I've acquired). It was so bad that it kept me up at night and give me a nauseating headache. By Friday morning, I couldn't take it anymore and went to Dermatology. The doctor diagnosed me with a subcutaneous cyst and I was prescribed antibiotics. By Saturday afternoon, my vision was being affected and I had ringing in my ears. Towards the end of Mady's 6th birthday party (the one that we had to postpone because of Jenn's emergency appendectomy on Thanksgiving Day), I had my mom take me to the ER.

The ER physician contacted the Facial Surgeon team and they said I had a staph infection, but didn't think that it needed to be incised (cut open and drained). They said that I needed high dosage antibiotics to combat a possible MRSA infection ( a more severe type of staph infection). I was admitted to the hospital on Saturday night and I'm still here. No timeline for release from the hospital in sight. However this has been an absolutely divine experience.

I don't know what the Lord is doing in our lives. People have said we've had a string of bad luck. Some have said the enemy is raging war. Some have said that God is trying to teach us and refine us. If the Lord's trying to get our attention, he has it.

In some ways I feel like I'm in bondage, a prison. We have allowed the Lord to lead us in any way he wants. We've given Him our lives. If he wants us to become missionaries, we are available. If he wants us to stay in Champaign, we will stay and continue to serve as we have. We are just available servants. But from the time that we announced our decision to possibly become international missionaries, and have asked our friends and family to pray for us, we have been attacked on every front. If all of these recent issues were just Cystic Fibrosis (my lung disease) issues flaring up, I'd say that it was just a natural outflow of my disease. However, the attacks have been against both Jennifer and I, and they have been unique conditions for us (an auto accident, back injury, a shoulder surgery, pain med addiction, emergency appendectomy and now a extremely painful staph infection). I don't blame all of our recent issues on "the devil." I've been telling people that I think the Lord is allowing some things to occur in our lives to refine us and mold us. But with this latest episode, I really believe the enemy is raging, because God is at work. He's raging on our bodies and in our minds. He's lying to us and creating some worry, doubts and fears. 

I feel like this hospital room is a jail cell and I've been chained because of my passion for Christ. This is certainly how I feel, again maybe it's the enemy trying to discourage me. Some days he succeeds. I'm thankful the Lord welcomes me back so quickly. I read in Eph 6:19-20, Paul says "Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should." Paul was in prison for the gospel's sake. His prayer request was that he would continuously and fearlessly preach the gospel in every situation. This is my desire. I want to fearlessly and boldly be His ambassador, sharing the good news with anyone that walks in my door. My faith in Christ and giving glory to God has been brought up with each person in some way. To say that I've been blessed is an understatement. Here are some of my encounters:

• A social worker came in to encourage me. Found out her husband's parents were missionaries in Sierra Leone. After 30 minutes of sharing her heart, she left, walking away and saying she was proud of us.
• A Healthcare Tech, "Peyton" has had a troubled past. Piercings and tattoos all over (even a sub-dermal rod in her wrist). She went up to Chicago to go to Mortuary School. Came back to Champaign to go into Healthcare. I'm praying for her salvation
• A nursing student is from eastern Africa and is very excited about our prayer request
• A nurse who isn't a Christian, but was very intrigued that we were seeking to advance "justice and mercy" in a foreign country, is willing to listen
• And many others who have seen my Bible or heard me playing a podcast when they walk in the room

No matter where we are at, we are called to be Christ's ambassadors. To stand fearlessly for Him. Paul tells the church to be fearless, because the natural tendency is to be fear-ful, especially in a scary situation (my nose infection, which is MRSA, could become systemic, entering my blood stream. That could be life-threatening). We need to be willing to share our faith (in a proper way) even if it means rejection or ridicule. The enemy is doing his best to discourage Jennifer and I. We have had our moments that's for sure, but I'm so thankful for this opportunity to lean on Christ and to cast all of my worries, doubts and fears on Him. My life is truly in his hands, and he cares for his children. He spoke to me yesterday from Psalm 121:4-5:

He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.The Lord watches over you - the Lord is your shade at your right hand.

He's taking care of me and my family. 

I have nothing to worry about.

I am not ashamed.

A Change of Perspective On Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is by far my favorite holiday of the year. I like Christmas too, but there's always so much hustle and bustle that it wears me out. The kids love Christmas and so it is fun to decorate and count down the days and enjoy their excitement. But Thanksgiving is all about returning to our roots and spending a day being thankful. A little food, family, friends and football don't hurt either. This Thanksgiving, I got a change of perspective.

I lost my dad in June. We buried him on Father's Day weekend (after he had a stroke on Mother's Day). I knew that Thanksgiving wouldn't be the same, and it's the first major holiday that normally we would have been together. Things definitely changed after I got married (for the better, obviously) but the holidays are still usually celebrated with parents. Earlier this week I came home from running some errands and just sitting in my truck for about 5 minutes thinking about Thursday. I knew it would be tough, and I knew it would be difficult to go to my Uncle Maurie's house, his only brother. This is most likely what we would have done had he not passed just like every other year. We still planned on going to my uncle's, but it was with a heavy heart. I've only seen my aunt and uncle and my cousins once since the funeral. Little did we know that things would be drastically different this year...but for a different reason.

Jenn wasn't feeling well all morning. She really wanted to make a homemade apple pie to take to my side of the family for lunch and another one for her side of the family for dinner. I remember looking at her, as she was sitting at the table hunched over, and slowly peeling an apple. She didn't look well, and she said she felt horrible. It was bad enough by mid-morning that I asked her if she wanted to stay home. She said no, that she didn't want to mess up Thanksgiving with our family. By the time we got to my uncles, a half an hour away, she could barely move. Her stomach was aching and she ended up not eating anything and laying down in the back of our suburban. After lunch I checked on her and she said she couldn't get comfortable. After about 20 minutes, she came back inside and at that point I knew something was wrong. I asked her a few questions and as everybody listened in, I told her I thought it was a possible appendicitis (she said it didn't feel like an ovarian cyst, which she's had in the past). Everyone agreed, and my mom kept the kids, and I drove her car (let's just say rapidly) to the ER. Thankfully (no pun intended) there was NO ONE in the ER. Waiting room was empty, and after checking in and going through triage, we were immediately taken back to a room to be evaluated by the medical staff. Her urinalysis was negative and the blood work was inconclusive, and so a sonogram was ordered. It indicated no abnormalities with the reproductive organs, so a CT scan was ordered. The CT scan showed an appendicitis, which hadn't ruptured yet, thank goodness. The surgeon came in for a consultation and by 7:00 pm she was on the operating table. We had gotten to the ER at 1:30 pm.

My whole perspective has changed. I am thankful for the (very) quick meal I had for lunch. I'm thankful I got to watch football all afternoon and evening in the ER and waiting room. I'm thankful for my family and Jenn's mom who kept me company during the surgery (or I kept her company). I'm thankful for all of our friends that sent awesome messages via facebook and text messaging. But you want to know the thing that stuck out to me the most? As Jenn was being wheeled into the OR, we held hands and had a chance to pray together. It was short and to the point. When we said amen, everyone in the area had stopped, and the nurse pushing Jenn's bed said "amen" with us. At that point I knew. I knew the Lord was watching over us. The Lord still cared, and my wife, my babydoll, was in His hands. He orchestrated the whole day. This certainly wasn't the day that I asked for or what I initially wanted, but somehow this was apart of His plan. How can I complain about my awesome and incredible Jesus? How can I be saddened that MY plans didn't pan out? How can I in any way question God? His ways are so much higher than my ways. His thoughts are so much higher than my thoughts.

The day after the surgery, Jenn told me that God spoke to her. He told her to "Slow down." She's been working non-stop on her jewelry business. It's been good for the business, but tough on all of us. The Lord was getting her attention, just like when he got mine when I had my accident. His exact words to me, even before my car slowed down were, "Mark, you need to slow down." It was perfectly clear. He's getting our attention, He's calling our name, and He's wanting us to slow down. "Mark and Jenn, you need to slow down. Listen to my voice. And have a clarity of perspective." What am I absolutely thankful for this year? My God. He saved my wife from further harm and He called our names, again. 

"I am yours, Lord. Do with me whatever you choose."

Economic Game Theory

We are all presented with choices and the tendency is to focus on the self and gratifying the selfish desire. The Lord has been teaching me to think of others first, but it's just so contradictory to the natural man. My context as an only child only deepened my selfish ambitions. When I started dating Jennifer (she's the only girl that I seriously dated) it quickly dawned on me that I am inherently full of self. Learning to think of her and then to think more highly of her was a difficult journey. To say that I'm still on the journey is an accurate assessment of my current position. The Lord keeps speaking to me though and I want to instill in my children certain values and close to the top of that list is "otherness." Learning to think of others, serve others, and to see through other's eyes. I want my children to be like Christ, and take the lowly road as needed.

I know the following dialog that I had with Mady is considered economic game theory, but I put Madalyn through a test to address her perspective.

She helped out at MCC today with Operation Christmas Child and she ran some "boring" errands with me to the bank and the post office. I stopped off at the gas station to fill up our SUV and she asked me for some "Bug Juice." It's this very sweet, sugary drink that's like Kool-Aid on steroids. The kids love them and our local gas station carries them. They are a special treat for the kids. I decided to teach Mady a lesson.

I told her that she could have the Bug Juice if she was willing to give 2/3 of her juice to Sam and Hannah. She didn't like this idea at all. She said she wanted her own juice and she wanted all of it. I went on to explain that she would still get quite a bit of juice, but the right decision would also benefit Sam and Hannah, as they would be recipients of Bug Juice. She told me she wanted her own drink. I told her that my was my offer and it was final, and as I closed the truck door, I told her to think about it, and let me know her decision. If she wasn't willing to share, I wasn't willing to get her a juice at all.

After about 30 seconds, she opened up the door and said that she wanted to share. I told her that I was proud of her, and her decision not only blessed her, but also blessed her brother and sister. When we went in, I actually got 2 juices for them (they're pretty small) explaining that God blesses those that seek to bless others. When we got home, her brother and sister were ecstatic that they got some. I had them all sit down and I explained that because Mady was willing to share, even though she got a little less, they were the recipients of her selflessness. 

"Lord, continue to help me think of others, like Christ did." 

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. 1 Peter 4:10

Trip planned and update

I continue to be amazed at the goodness of God. Jennifer and I have been asking for confirmation regarding God's timing. We heard back from BMI and it looks as though I will be heading to SA Feb 14-26. I have been granted time off from work. I'm very excited about the trip and asking the Lord for confirmation on His will. If he wants us to move there, we are willing. If he wants us to stay, we will stay. But we are certainly sensing the call of God. If we don't go, who will? It's been 10 years since Meadowbrook Community Church has sent out a full time career missionary. If we don't go, who will? If God has spoken to us, and he has, what objections can I have? Life is too short, we only live once and we want our life to matter. It certainly has significance here in Champaign, and we are involved in many ministries, but at this point, we now consider them preparatory work for the missions field. Not everyone is called, but if you are...go.

My shoulder continues to progress rapidly. I have the "Big Bertha" sling off now and I started Physical Therapy at the Carle North Annex last Monday. Initially, they indicated that I would be in PT several times a week along with my daily exercises, for a solid year. Based on my rapid progression, I've been down-graded to about a 6-7 month full release. We thank the Lord for what He is doing. 

If things go as we expect them to go in February, let the whirlwind begin. I think I'll be most saddened about selling my home. It's where our kids have grown up. I've put my blood, sweat and tears into that home. But alas, brick and mortar can easily be replaced. Besides, as I told Mady last week, it's not the house that makes a home, it's the family who lives there. Certainly I will miss our friends and family, but at least we can stay in touch with them electronically and visit each year. Please pray for us, we will have a large annual budget to fund-raise. I've been reading a lot on the subject recently. I'm actually praying that the Lord helps us to raise the funds in 100 days. It's a lofty goal, but I'm a goal-oriented individual and I'm up to the challenge.

The Day of the Surgery...finally!

The day of my shoulder surgery has finally arrived! (I'm obviously writing this about a week after the surgery, as I'm just now above consciousness)

Big thanks to my Mom for coming up last night to watch the kids. We had to leave the house at 5:00am to be at the hospital for check-in at 5:30. After kissing the kids good-bye while they were sleeping, we left the friendly confines of our home behind.

Got to the hospital and Pastor Ron stopped by to see how we were doing and to pray with us before the surgery. I was a little apprehensive about the surgery regarding my lung condition, so they opted to have the procedure done at Carle Hospital instead of at the Surgicenter (outpatient). Dr Robert Gurtler, my orthopedic surgeon said that he would probably keep me overnight just to make sure my lungs were stable before sending me home (little did we know how much the Lord was intervening there). On a side note, Dr Gurtler is the team physician/surgeon for all of the major University of Illinois sports teams, so he has every imaginable signature hanging on his wall.

So, they wheeled me into the surgical unit and started prepping. They gave me some oxygen and the next thing I know, the nurse is in my face telling me the surgery went well and I did great. Ugh. How do we say "woozy" in post-op? There was some major confusion in post-op regarding my room assignment, and Carle doesn't allow family in post-op, so Jenn sat in the waiting room from 7:30am till 4:15 pm. She finally left to relieve my mom who was watching the kids and had to drive up to Wisconsin for a family death that night, and of course my hospital room became available at 4:30pm.

I don't remember much the first couple of days. I literally didn't move at all for the first 48 hours. Dr Gurtler said my shoulder was horrible and questioned how I was functioning. Brett Pearman, his PA, said it was the worst Bankart lesion surgery he'd ever seen and he's been with Gurtler for 4 years. Here's how they explained it: If you are looking at a clock, the capsule (labrum) around the shoulder should cover the shoulder from 12:00 all the way around to 12:00 again. Mine was torn (in the front - anterior shoulder) from 12:00 (counter-clockwise) to 5:00. More than half way. They pulled it tight, and used 7 molly bone anchors to secure it. The posterior tear in the labrum they cinched up as well, but didn't surgically repair it. They also noticed a Hills-Sachs lesion (bone dent) in my socket, which occurred when my shoulder has dislocated. They drilled out a hole and caused the bone to bleed to produce scar tissue. If that dent doesn't fill in (they don't expect it completely will), arthritis will set in for the rest of my life. No wonder my shoulder ached when I went outside in the cool weather. I ended up staying in the hospital from Wednesday thru Sunday because when I used the morphine pain pump, it lowered my O2 sats down to 85%, well below normal for me. So I was on oxygen the whole time, and until the pain could be tolerated on oral pain meds (quadruple the amount I was on right after the accident), I couldn't go home. By Sunday, I forced myself off of the morphine pump and set it was time to go home. Sore, but ready to get out of there.

I'm now in a brace for the next 6 weeks. It's definitely a fancy brace, but huge and quite cumbersome. I'll be in physical therapy after the brace comes off for about 6 months. It will be a long, arduous process, but "no pain, no gain."

Thanks to everyone for the awesome letters, emails, meals, texts and phone calls. Jenn and I were quite overwhelmed by the support from friends and family.

[ fusion ] college ministry

Jenn and I are the facilitators of  [ fusion ] college ministries at Meadowbrook Community Church (www.meadow.org/ministries/fusion). We have weekly meetings  on Tuesday nights where we preach the messages, meet with students over coffee throughout the week and coach them through some of life's biggest decisions (where to work, whom to marry and where to live). I've been involved in ministry really since I was a freshman in college at EIU in '95. In the summer of '99 I applied, was accepted and transferred to ISU (Illinois State University) where I eventually graduated from in '01. I started an RSO called Campus Bible Club as a student there and was President during my 2 year tenure. During those 6 years, I was directly involved in college ministry leadership on 3 different campus (also add in Lakeland College in Mattoon). Ministering to college students has always been in my heart. 

After I graduated from ISU, I continued to serve as Director for Campus Bible Club, an inter-denominational Bible study for students, until 2002. When I moved to Champaign that year I left the ministry behind that I started from scratch and joined forces with the CBC at the University of Illinois where I served as Co-Director from 2002-3003. I took a break in 2004 from college ministry to get married, and then in 2005, Jenn and I started Fusion at our our current church. It's definitely evolved over the years, and just this past year, we moved into our brand-new state-of-the-art facility, the Orange Bowl, located in the church.

The decision to leave the States and possibly move to Africa has been weighing heavy on my heart. I know that this is God's ministry, and I'm just a simple servant, but its been my baby from the beginning. I've poured blood, sweat and tears into the ministry and to just walk away is not in my nature. We know that God's timing is perfect and that He provides and that he doesn't need me. But, none the less, I've been asking the Lord what to do.

Along came October 14th. I'm on the prayer team at Meadowbrook and so we go forth after each Sunday message and allow the congregants to come forward for prayer. A dear sister came forward  and she's had 3 of her kids come through our ministry. She came forward not to be prayed for, but to pray for me. This was a turn of events. Kinda cool.

Laurie told me that "She is allowing me to let Fusion go. To not worry about it." She was giving me permission to let something go that she knew was very close to my heart. I couldn't believe my ears! This has been on my heart and the prayer I've been praying for several weeks. She literally was the voice of God. I was so relieved, convicted and in awe of my God all at once. The flood gates were opened yet again.

She prayed with me, for me and for Fusion as a whole and returned to her seat. I couldn't wait to tell Jenn about this one. We are still looking for somone to take over Fusion, preferably a strong, young couple with a vision for college ministry. It's definitely a hands-on, get dirty ministry. We know that the students that we love won't be left alone. There will be an awesome couple who will rise up to stand in the gap. Knowing that people are praying for us in this way is a huge relief.

Injury Update After My Accident

Please continue to pray for us. I had an MRI done on my left shoulder and I have 2 tears in the labrum and the end of the cap of the humerus bone is broken off and just dangling. I will have surgery on Wednesday, October 17th to repair the tears and remove the piece of bone. I endured about 4 weeks of PT (physical therapy) on my shoulder before they stopped the PT so my shoulder could heal up (they don't want it to be in serious pain before the surgery, it will be very tight and sore). The PT on the shoulder after the surgery could take anywhere from 6-9 months to obtain full mobilization and range of motion. Not looking forward to that. Everyone has said it's a painful recovery. I say, "bring on the pain meds!"

I had an appointment at the Carle Pain Clinic today. Since the MRI on my back didn't show any structural damage (praise God!), I was released from my neurosurgeon,  Dr Olivero. So, I'm now a patient of Dr Jung at the Pain Clinic. He said that I have ligament damage in my lower back. This is what is causing the significant lower back pain every day and is keeping me from driving (I've been off work since the accident because of the issues with driving and back pain). After 4 weeks of chiropractic treatments and 6 weeks of PT on my lower back with little benefit or improvement, I was advised to seek advice at the Pain Clinic. I'll follow up with him after the surgery for possible steroid injections in my back.

On an interesting note, Dr Jung is a Christian and told me he goes to the same Korean church here in town as Dr Chung, my chiropractor. He said he would be praying for us. This was yet again another confirmation of God orchestrating our lives.

After my surgery, PT and recovery and healing of my lower back (and we raise the full financial support needed), we believe the Lord is leading us to move to South Africa. Pray for God's perfect timing. It may be Jan 1, 2014 before we are ready to go, but we are hoping it's before then.

The Big Announcement at Meadowbrook Community Church

I got a call this morning from Pastor Ron around 7:30 or 8 am, asking if we would be willing to share a short 10 minute testimony on how God has been leading us these past few months. My instantaneous internal response was "NO WAY, IT'S TOO EARLY!" but calmly, I responded, "Sure, I'd love to." I walked into the kitchen and told Jenn to dress up, we're speaking this morning at church. (She and I were already dressed, I just wanted to freak her out a little. Mission accomplished.)

This was certainly a HUGE step of faith for us. We have already announced to our small group back in August our plans, but announcing this before the church is a whole different ballgame. At the time, we were going through a 4 week church-wide campaign called "Power of a Whisper" by Bill Hybels, and we asked our small group to pray for us for regarding a confirmation for Africa. We've also let several of our friends know about our plans, but that's about it. To announce our plans in front of our home church (both services) was certainly taking it to the next level. The Lord gave us real peace though throughout the morning and so we walked up on stage and shared our hearts. It was truly a singular moment in our lives.

• We had many come up to us and give us big hugs and said they would be praying for us.
• We had friends that started crying, thinking about us leaving and going to South Africa
• We received a large check from someone in the audience that responded to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. We didn't even know her. We weren't asking for money.
• We had one lady that walked up to us and said she believed God told her that we would have no problem selling our home (she didn't even know if we were renting or owned a home). We need to be careful about not reading too much into these "whispers from God," but we were comforted
• We sensed God's leading and confirmation

We covet your prayer. We need your prayer. This is the one thing we sensed when we led the team of 14 to Ghana in 2011, we knew people were praying for us and we felt very anointed. We need prayer.

Here is the link on what I shared first service. I was hoping they would post what I shared in the 2nd service on line, (I forgot a few things 1st service), but here it is. Pastor Ron's whole message is about 40:00 long. I start speaking around minute 23:00. I would recommend listening to the first 23:00 so you understand why we were asked to share on this particular morning.

Audio of Mark & Jenn's Testimony at Meadowbrook Community Church 9/23/12

Unbelievable News - AAI shuts down Ghanaian Adoptions

I remember opening up the email, and I couldn't believe my eyes. Jenn and I both received an email from AAI (Adoption Advocates International), our adoption agency in Washington, on Sept 21, but she hadn't read it yet. After I read the stunning news, I wasn't sure if I should show it to her because I knew how she would respond. not only that, but tonight was supposed to be her surprise birthday party that I'd been planning for a couple of weeks. But, I decided to show it to her nonetheless, and she broke down sobbing. Anita, our adoption coordinator at AAI announced not only that she was resigning from AAI, but she also announced that AAI was severing their partnership with their adoption agency in Ghana. In effect, if you hadn't received your referral yet (we haven't), there was no longer opportunity to adopt through AAI to Ghana. We were crushed. We were beyond crushed. Jenn said she felt like she'd had a miscarriage. This is what we had been praying for. This is what we had been saving our money for. This decision was a big step of faith, and we believed we were walking in obedience. My little boy is in Ghana. I called Anita and she said we could change countries, but Ghana was no longer an option. I told her all about our history with Ghana, and that Ghana was the only country where we wanted to adopt from. She said that if we wanted to stay with a Ghanian adoption, we would have to change agencies and that we would be out the money that we have already sent them ($12,000).

Jenn and I didn't know what to do. I was at first crushed and then I became very angry. This decision to adopt has affected our family. Jenn started making hand-stamped jewelry (Plus One Minus One Jewelry - see previous post or her Etsy shop to the right), and she's done very well, but it's taken a lot of her time. I've been painting houses to raise money (I've been the sole proprietor of "Helping Hand Painting since 1998) and it's taken many nights and weekends away from my family throughout 2012.

And then God spoke to us. Clearly. Calmly. It was a whisper of affirmation and encouragement. God spoke to me and said that if we adopted from Ghana, and we brought this little boy home to the States, that we would have a difficult, if not impossible, visa or immigration issue with him when we move to South Africa.

Doc Blessman saw our message that we posted that night, and he called us right away. We explained what had happened and he shared with us words of encouragement. After he shared, we realized that instead of being adoptive parents to a single boy, that if we moved to SA, we could be adoptive parents to "100's if not 1000's." This was like an epiphany. A revelation. It's certainly not what we originally wanted nor what we envisioned, but at this point, it appeared like the will of God.

We believe that adopting was a test of our faith. God was testing our faith. Would we believe Him? Would I be willing to give up my money that I value? Would I be willing to be obedient to James 1:27? Would I have faith in God? God was proving our faith. We believe this.

Although disappointed, we see God's hand moving again. Opening doors, shutting doors and confirming His will. Possibly we'll adopt from South Africa when we get there (the burden for orphans is as strong as ever).

We just simply want the will of God...and He has spoken.

(*On a side note, I still took Jenn out to eat that night, and surprised her when we came home to a house full of our closest friends and family who were able to encourage and strengthen us all night long. The Lord's timing is impeccable. The party alone was a confirmation that God's timing is...perfect.)

Blessman Ministries Incorporated - (BMI)

We finally got to meet Dr Jim and Beth Blessman today of Blessman Ministries Inc (see previous post back in May). We have had this day circled on our calendar for months. Doc is a retired physician from Iowa, and about 10 years ago, they started Blessman Ministries Inc (I'll refer to it as BMI from now on). Their base camp is just outside of Johannesburg, South Africa, and so we were very excited to meet them. We were praying that the Lord would confirm his will regarding the vision He gave me for Jo'burg back in Aug 28, 2010 (see previous post). To say the least, they were an absolute treat, and the Lord clearly gave Jennifer and I some confirmations. Earlier this week, Pastor Ron asked if I wanted to meet with them with the missions board before 1st service, which I absolutely agreed to. They were a very dear couple and you could tell their heart aligned exactly with our hearts. Doc had the chance to share during both services and we were treated to Biaggi's with Pastor Ron, Sandy, the Blessman's and one other couple that came with them from Iowa. We got home this evening and realized that God had opened up a door...a huge, life-changing door. Here are some of the bullet points that we love about BMI. I'll try to keep the list short.

• They feed 5000 needy children in Gauteng (Johannesburg) and across the country with distribution sites in Gauteng, Western Cape, Limpopo and soon Kwazulu Natal
• They have a heart for orphans, and they have a sponsor program similar to Compassion and World Vision. Jenn would be able to work with these orphans and help them succeed and have a chance.
• They live on a huge game park, so African wild life is abundant. My dream is to see a wild lion - but not too close...
• They have a small church in a local village. Doc asked if possibly I would help out in some fashion at the church. I've spent the last 3 years getting my ministerial credentials and I'm currently working on a Master's in Intercultural Studies at Moody Theological Seminary. They said we would have a vehicle available for travel when we get there
• In South Africa, it is highly recommended that all businesses and organizations give 1% of their earnings to charitable organizations. With my sales experience, Doc suggested that I could be a big asset to BMI in meeting with these businesses to try to obtain that 1%.
• Jim is a physician, and so I could have easy access to an MD while in SA. We also found out there's a CF Clinic right in Jo'burg. I'm currently investigating health insurance while in SA. I'm all set to continue having my current health insurance (Health Alliance) when we come back to the States
• BMI has a 2BR/2BA home on-site for us when we come. They invite teams throughout the year to come to SA and work with BMI for a 2 week stint, so I'm sure we'd be assisting with them
• They also bring in interns to advance their education (med students, vet students) and they are investing in the community by teaching farming and sewing, so education is a big component of their ministry, which is important for us too
• If we were to move to SA, one of the hardest parts would be leaving our friends and family back here in the States. The good thing is that we will be coming back yearly so we could still see our friends and family. It really is the best of both worlds. Although this is costly, we think this is positive for us not only physically, but also spiritually, emotionally, psychologically and mentally

www.blessmanministries.org

Dr Jim Blessman

A Day That Forever Changed Us

July 30, 2012. About 1:15. Tremont, IL

I'm obviously writing this after the fact, but I can't believe how much one single incident can change our family...for the rest of our lives.

I work for the University of Illinois Medical Center Reference Laboratory in Chicago. I sell lab testing to hospitals and clinics. I've been in the laboratory field for the past 11 years. I've been with UIC for the past 6.
I was over near Peoria, IL today on a business trip. It was a pretty typical day. I made several stops at clinics and hospitals in the morning and then stopped at a Hardee's for lunch. As I was walking out of the restaurant, I saw what appeared to be a homeless gal (probably 20 years old) sitting in a parking spot with all of her belongs in suitcases. She asked several people if she could have a ride to the court house. She looked up at me and asked the same question. I knew that I had passed the court house in Pekin earlier, so it was only about 2 miles, but a long walk for someone with 3 or 4 suitcases. The Spirit within me told me to give her a ride. I never (ever) give rides to females, but I regularly help those in need (someone whose car has broken down on the side of the interstate, or if someone asks for money. I've had many opportunities to help people in the last 6 year, but I've never given a female a ride in my car). For whatever reason, I knew that God had spoken, so I offered to give her a ride. She was very, very thankful.

I had her put ALL of her belongings in the trunk. If she had a knife or a gun in her purse, I wanted it in the trunk, not in the passenger seat.

I can't remember her name, but she was very nice and quite pretty. She also flirted with me, which although some guys would've taken an advantage of, I let her know that I was a minister and that put an end to that. She made a few phone calls to find out where her friend was at who was waiting for her near the court house and I dropped her off. We got all of the things out of my trunk and I handed her a tract (I pass out tracts whenever I help someone. I figure if I show love or help first, it will open up the pathway for the gospel). She put it in her purse and they drove off. I pray for her salvation.

As I was leaving Pekin, IL, I saw a sign for Tremont about 20 miles down the road on Route 9. This brought up many emotions as my close co-worker Gerry, who had a heart-attack and passed away back in June, was from Tremont. I thought it might be nice to stop in and see his wife and wish her my condolences. I hadn't had a chance to talk with her at the funeral. I missed my turn in Tremont and I realized I was heading out of town, so I stopped at the edge of town to turn around. I had my left turn signal on and was waiting for on-coming traffic to pass so that I could turn into the parking lot of a business and then go back into town. And then it happened.

I remember seeing a car way back there when I glanced in the rear-view mirror before turning. Apparently, when I slowed down and was stopped waiting to turn, he didn't see me. He was going 50 mph and never touched the brakes. Both cars were severely damaged and his was totaled. Jacob apologized profusely and I told him that everything would be fine.

Hannah rubbing my head in the ER

I remember right when he hit me, I screamed as my body slammed backwards into my seat and all of  my spare change in the change dish in my car flew all over the place. I skidded across on-coming traffic and finally stopped on the shoulder across the road. I never technically blacked out, but I knew that I was in shock. But that wasn't the most impressionable part of the accident. The most impressionable part was that God spoke to me. As clear as I've ever heard God speak to me before, He spoke again,

"Mark, you need to slow down."

Ironically enough, I was the one that was stopped, and "life" hit me full speed. But this wasn't what He meant.

God spoke to me, and we believe that he was trying to get our attention. I had worked 80 hours the week before, and I wasn't out of touch with God, but I was in the worry, hurry and busy-ness of life. He was getting my attention. And boy did he ever.

I was taken by ambulance with a c-spine on a gurney to OSF in Peoria. They did several X-rays and other than being really banged up, the only notable thing on the X-rays was a slip between the C2-C3 in my neck from the whiplash. I told them my shoulder really hurt and they told me to follow up with my primary care physician in the morning. Jenn and the kids came and picked me up. They were very scared, but relieved when they saw me. And that was the start of a very long, arduous trip back to full recovery. Little did I know that God was getting our attention...in a huge way.

R.I.P. Dad

My Dad passed away today. I'll miss him so much. I knew when I left the hospital today, that I wouldn't see him again. I told him goodbye. I cried and prayed over him. Not looking forward to his funeral this coming Saturday. Unfortunately, it'll be Father's Day weekend.

This photo was taken before I left the hospital today...he's always been the one to hold my hand...now I'm holding his. His hand held mine through the tough times. High-five'd me when I'd done something good. Carried me as a baby. Spanked me when I needed it. Held the American flag. Shot a gun in Vietnam. Gave me the thumbs up to communicate that I was his son. Took care of my mom. Held his grandkids. Worked tirelessly to provide for my mom and I.

Thank you for your love, service, support and sacrifice. I'll always be your son. Flesh and blood. You've helped shape who I am and for that I'll always love you.

Dad accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior last year. So, I know deep down, it's not "goodbye" but "see you later."

Now, go dance with Jesus.  

Update on my Dad

There are 2 people in my life that I'm the closest to (not counting Jesus or my kids). My wife and my dad. I have many other close family members (Cindy - my stepmom, uncles, cousins etc) and friends that have played significant roles in my life, but my wife and my dad are the two that have always been there. As many of you know, my biological mother and brother were killed in a car accident on Interstate 80 near Atlantica, Iowa, June 1980. I was in the vehicle with my dad right in front of them. I remember it like it happened yesterday. Through not only that trial, but many other circumstances, I've always looked up to my dad and respected him more than any other person on the planet. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last August and it's been a roller coaster since then to say the least.

He had a stroke on Sunday, May 13th, 2012, and would never be the same after that. Mother's Day.


That Sunday was a beautiful day and we were all in good spirits. We would be heading down state for an afternoon picnic with Jenn's family. I'd never make it. I had about 5 missed phone calls on my phone. It was my mom. I went straight to the ER.

It is interesting that his stroke was on May 13th. Yes, he had a 1/30 chance of having it on the 13th, but this number (13) is significant for Jenn and I. It pops up periodically in our marriage and it has from the time we started dating.

• We were married on Nov 13th, 2004 , and the pastor joked we'd have 13 kids
• The pastor who married us preached from 1 Cor 13
• My dad's voicemail at his work was #13
• When we went through IVF the first time, we parked in Lot 13
• When I woke up from the IVF procedure, I was in Bay 13
• This is stretching it, but our names (Mark Bettinger and Jenn Bettinger) has 13 letters in it and our last name starts with a "B" which is a "1" and a "3" put together. Stretching it, I know...
• My locker at Christie Clinic was #13

You get the point. But the #13 has always been a reminder that God is in what we are doing. So, when we were looking for a new house, we looked for addresses that had the number 13 in it. Finally we moved into 801 Chickory Drive. So much for that theory.

So, for my dad to have his stroke on May 13th, was a reminder that God is still in control and leading us. Dad was never the same after the stroke. But, we had really enjoyable times together and I was able to share everything on my heart with him. He always wanted a football team and a cheerleader (12 total kids). I always joked, "Well dad, at least you got your cheerleader."

A Chance Encounter...with God

I received an urgent call from Pastor Ron indicating that I was needed to sign some papers on the church mortgage re-fi at the bank. As the deacon council secretary, it was necessary for me to sign the paperwork along with the senior pastor. They needed to be signed that day, so I hurried back from the business trip that I was on, and arrived with only a few minutes to spare. The activity at the bank only took a few minutes and so Pastor Ron and I drove back together to the church. He invited me into his office and we sat and chatted for a few minutes. Pastor Ron asked me about Africa and the adoption process and how things were coming along. During our conversation I brought up the vision I had at the Men's retreat Aug 28, 2010 regarding Johannesburg, South Africa (see previous post) and with that he leaned back in his chair and smiled. He told me that just that day, he had penciled in some missionaries from Johannesburg, South Africa that he knew from his church back in Des Moines and that they were coming to speak on Sept 23rd at Meadowbrook. He gave me some literature on Dr Jim and Beth Blessman of Blessman Ministries Inc. I sensed immediately that there would be more to this story. I ended up emailing Doc Blessman that day and he returned my email on May 7th. Here's what he wrote:





Hi Mark,
Please let me know more about you vision for Johannesburg. We are busy opening a new distribution site in South Johannesburg. We have a big warehouse and donated space in that for food, shoes and we use the building to do optical outreaches.

Looking forward to seeing you soon.
Jim and Beth

www.blessmanministries.org

My heart leaped out of my chest. I sensed God opening up a door and confirming the vision for Jo'burg I had had a couple of years ago. I was really looking forward to meeting them later on in the fall. I forwarded the message to Jenn and we started praying...in earnest.

The Launch of Plus One Minus One

Plus One Minus One Jewelry

A couple of weeks before Mother's Day 2012, Jenn started making hand stamped aluminum necklaces and key chains. The name of her business is Plus One Minus One Jewelry. Simply put, it means "Plus One member to our family and Minus one orphan." She can design anything that you'd like or you can choose from designs that she's already made.

Check out her Etsy page to see all of her designs and prices:
Plus One Minus One Etsy Shop - www.plusoneminusone.etsy.com


If you're on Facebook, check out her page there as well -
www.facebook.com/PlusOneMinusOneJewelry

She also sells in 2 retail shops called "Frogs and Fairies" in Urbana, IL and Bloomington, IL

Frogs and Fairies Boutique Website

All proceeds from the jewelry goes towards serving orphans and ministries in Africa. It will also help to bring our little guy home from Ghana.

Thank you to those of you who have purchased jewelry already! 

Applying to Grad School

I've recently finished up my Ministerial Credentialing through Global University. It took me two long years, but the hard work and effort was well worth it. I learned so much and gained a greater appreciate for His Word. I still can remember when I called and chatted with Dr Keith Hendrie (see post on Oct 17, 2010) in late 2010, and he advised me that if I wanted to go into ministry, he would recommend some formal training. I just didn't think I would ever go to Grad school. I went with the MC first, thinking I might some day get Licensed, but little did I know God had other plans. Going to Global was an easy decision. It worked well with my schedule since it was all on-line and you could pretty much go at your own pace, so it was certainly a good fit. By the time I finished up the MC, I was wanting to continue my education. I did a search on becoming Licensed (step 2 to Ordination) thru Global, but as I searched for ministry positions in NGOs and organizations like Compassion Int'l and World Vision, I repeatedly read that they were looking for candidates with a Master's degree (or at least a Bachelor's degree from a seminary, neither of which I had). So, we started praying about it, and through some unique circumstances, the Lord led me to Moody Theological Seminary in Chicago.

I applied to Moody, which was a very lengthy process and was finally accepted! I also found out that many consider Moody the "gold standard" of Seminaries. I would also put Gordon-Conwell, Dallas Theological and Fuller Theological Seminaries in that list. I went up to Moody for a tour on Feb 28th, 2012 and Josi (my tour guide) announced that "Congratulations, I just spoke with Admissions and you were accepted!" I initially chose a M.A. in Ministry Leadership but changed to a M.A. in Intercultural Studies. I really believe that this decision would enable me to be a better minister to the continent of Africa and here in the States. Reaching out to the lost in other cultures (Unreached People Groups all 7,000+ global UPG's) is certainly first and foremost in my heart. I decided to go the "Modular" route, where I would have 7 weeks of pre-course work, go to Moody for a full week (per class) and then have 7 weeks of post-course work. I also decided to take some on-line classes as well. I was very excited to be a student again. It will be a long, difficult 4 years, but well worth the effort.

My first class at Moody with Dr Tucker

I absolutely love taking classes! I'm one of those nerdy folks that loves to read, loves to write and loves to study. I love to learn. I love to grow. If you've ever considered going to Seminary, (I'm a salesman at heart, sorry) feel free to check out Moody:

Moody Theological Seminary Website

Picking an Agency

I have been doing some research in my email account trying to nail down dates and the timeline of events. I did a search for AAI (Adoption Advocates International) which is the adoption agency in the state of Washington that we ended up going with, and I found a startling fact. Here's the first email with "AAI" in the subject or body of the email that's in my inbox:

http://www.adoptionadvocates.org/Africa/index.php

this is the agency that Janel recommended.. I've sent an email to Janel and to the agency requesting an info packet. I'll let you know what I find out...

LOVE you. (secretly a little excited too)
Jenn



What struck me so significantly was the fact that Jenn sent me this message on

Mon, Jun 13, 2011 07:42 PM 

I couldn't believe it! I do not remember Jenn sending me this message nor do I remember that she had been excited about adopting from Africa before we even went to Ghana. I knew that it had been on her heart for quite sometime, but didn't realize that it went back over a year ago.

After we both believed the Lord was leading us to adopt, we contacted AAI again and they sent us some information and we formally signed an agreement with them to adopt a little boy age 2-5 from Ghana. I received my first correspondence with the director of the program on Feb 20, 2012. Anita Gillispie is awesome. She has adopted from Ghana a couple of times herself and has been there numerous times. She has a heart for the country and for the people. She's been a great resource. We feel like God has confirmed several things for us and that we are moving in a positive direction.

I CAN'T WAIT to meet my little guy! Sam and him will be buddies, I'm sure. 4 kids...one for each hand for Jenn and I, and we can all hold them at the same time. But that's it for me, 4 and no more! (Famous last words, I'm sure).
We announced to the kids that we were adopting a little boy from Africa when we were walking out of church. I asked Mady what should we call him so that we can pray for him by name? (as opposed to just praying for "the little orphan boy in Africa that we are adopting" each time) She looked at me and said that we should pray for him as "Little Orphan Steve." Apparently, she has this thing for the youth pastor at our church, Pastor Steve. So, from then on, we've prayed for him and referred to him as "Little Orphan Steve." When we adopt, we are actually going to change or add to his middle name "Stephen."

We really believe that we will make an eternal impact on a soul. What is that worth?

Priceless.

Hearing the Call to Adopt

We were absolutely enamored by everything in Africa. We knew the Lord was doing something in our hearts. We started praying for missionaries in Africa, and we started supporting (3) different missionary families in Africa. We had several friends and family that started asking us if we were going back to Africa soon or if we had even considered moving there. We pretty much decided that we didn't want to move there, mostly because we didn't believe my health would allow it.

And then a strong burden began to formulate and cultivate in our lives. By the end of 2011, Jenn was convinced that the Lord would have adoption in our future. She asked me several times if we could adopt throughout 2011, but the thought of paying nearly $30,000 for an adoption scared me. However by the beginning of 2012, I began to sense something stirring in my life. In January, Jenn straight up asked me if we could adopt. She had read several books and she said that everything within her desired adoption. She obviously was wanting to adopt from Ghana.

Right before Chinese New Year (January 23rd, 2012), I was invited out to eat for the Chinese New Year by some friends of ours. I'm still not sure how it all worked out, but I ended up going out to eat with several of our friends and Jenn ended up going to an adoption conference at a local church. While I was at the dinner, Pastor Ron and I ended up chatting about adoption. He asked me what I thought about it. I told him that I knew it was biblical. We all memorize James 1:27 when we are in grade school. Pastor Ron responded that "the truest form of discipleship was adoption." All of a sudden, something triggered inside of me and I knew right then and there that God was calling me to adopt as well. The very next morning, the Lord spoke to me in my quiet time from Psalms 41 regarding taking care of the weak and oppressed.

After the church service, I walked up to Jenn as she was talking with some friends, and I said "I'm in" and walked away. She yelled back, "wait, you're in for what? The adoption?" I said, "Yes." I'm in." Her smile told me that she was overjoyed.

From that moment on, we started preparing, saving and investigating adoption. We ended up choosing Adoption Advocates International in the state of Washington as our adoption agency. They are a great organization and we were thrilled with the Ghanaian director, Anita Gillispie. I also found out that the Adoption Tax Credit would most likely be approved by Congress in late 2012 and that gives international adopting families a $14,000 tax credit. And so along with our other investments, the adoption would be paid for. The Lord was testing my faith, and when I said yes, he opened up our finances in a huge way.