They are so wrong.

Meet Josphine. 

She is a beautiful young lady who attends Lighthouse Christian Church with us on Sunday mornings.  She is quiet and has a gentle spirit.  This past Sunday she touched my soul. 

I woke up Sunday morning a bit discouraged.  I was praying that the Lord would change my heart and my attitude.  

Mark was preaching in adult church (you know you work with children's church when you start calling it "adult church") so we were blessed to be able to sit in on the adult service.  I'll admit that my heart wasn't there.  I was struggling.  

After worship, this beautiful friend got up and read a poem that she had written.  The tears began to flow from my eyes. After service, I had her write her poem into my journal so that I could have it to read again and again.
Here is the poem that Josphine has titled "Thank You Lord." 

Thank you Lord

While the world looks upon me 

as I struggle along

They say I have nothing

but they are so wrong

In my heart I'm rejoicing

How I wish they could see

Thank you Lord for your blessing on me. 

There is a roof above me 

I have a good place to sleep

There is food on my table

and shoes on my feet

You gave me your love Lord

and a fine family

Thank you Lord for your blessing.

I know I'm not wealthy 

and these clothes they are not new

And I don't have much money

But I have you Lord

And that's all that matters 

though the world may not see.

What a perspective change I had that morning.  Although I had been struggling and things were weighing on me, my focus was moved.  My focus moved to the Lord; how good He is, how rich His blessings are that He's given to me.  My heart was changed.  The Lord spoke to my heart through this friend and I'm so thankful for that. 

So often, we as Americans, tend to look outwardly at things and base our happiness on what we have.  But, that's not how it's supposed to be.  Josphine has it.  She gets it.  She understands.  She knows that it's not about money, or clothes, or stuff -- It's about the love of Jesus and the blessing that it is to know Him.  When we breath our last breath it's not going to matter how much money we have, how well our children are dressed, how well our closet is stocked with brand name clothes.  It won't matter how much stuff we have at home or how immaculately decorated our house is.  It won't matter.  None of that will matter.  What will matter is that we have loved Jesus and we have devoted our lives to following Him.  

I want to be known for my love for Jesus.  I want to be known for having a servant's heart and having a love for His people.  If you were to come to my house right now, this is probably what you'll see: 

*3 adorable children who love Jesus.  They will most likely be dirty. They will probably have the same pair of shoes on that they've been wearing since we got here.  They most likely won't have matching clothes on, but they will have joy in their hearts and they will be happy to see you. 

*a mom who doesn't have it all together.  A mom who makes mistakes yet is clinging to Jesus for forgiveness and restoration.  A mom who loves people.

*A dad who leads this family with love and grace.  A dad who teaches us what it means to follow Jesus.  A dad who loves.

* A home that is home for us.  It's not 2 story or even 3 bedroom but it's home and we love it.  It's comfortable, it's a roof over our heads and it's a blessing.  

My perspective has been changed.  Josphine's poem spoke to my heart.  No matter what your circumstances are like, we must remember the blessings that God has given us.  We must remember that we are loved and cared for.  We don't have to have the stuff or the clothes or the house to prove it.  He's given us life.  He's given us hope.  He's given us His Son.  

That's more than enough for me.  

Finding my daughter...

Mady at Ripple Pond with Magic Island and the "Hornet House" in the distance

It's been dawning on me the last several months that I've never really gotten to know my eldest daughter Mady. I know about her (I know her favorite color is purple, her favorite princess is Belle, and that she's shy but very perceptive). I know about her, but do I really KNOW her? Similar to a favorite athlete or actor...we can know all about them, but we don't really know them. We know all of their stats or the timeline of movies they've been in. We know about their spouses, their vices in life and where they live, but we don't really know them personally. Some would say this about Jesus. 

Almost everyday, I ask Mady if she wants to go on a bike ride with me. And everyday we ride less, but talk more. She's starting to open up to me. She's told me things that I had no idea she was thinking. I've been pleasantly surprised about some things. Other things have been a little alarming, but that's ok. She's growing and learning and becoming her own person. 

This is a message to Dads out there. Maybe you have daughters, maybe you have sons. Here's what I've learned riding bikes with my 7 year old on the back stretch of a safari breeding ground in South Africa. 

1. Dad, your kids have an awesome imagination. Learn to imagine with them. I'm doing a 6-part series right now about "Heaven" in our children's ministry. How would YOU teach on heaven? You open the Scriptures and teach, but then you have to encourage them to dream, to imagine and to let their minds soar. Those who are excited about heaven start living for heaven. Mady and I always stop at this large pond (she named it "Ripple Pond," a great name) and we throw rocks from the waters edge. We've named the island "Magic Island" in the middle of Ripple Pond. She talks about fairies, and the "Hornet House" that's across the pond where we got swarmed by hornets when we went exploring. We feed the fairies and launch pieces of wood for boats for them to ride on. Some days we just sit on the dock and make up stuff. Imagine with your kids...their minds are alive with imagination. It will unite you together in ways you could never imagine.

2. Dads, never be scared to ask your children questions. "Mady, how does God want to use you here in Africa?" "I don't know, I'm only 7." "Oh baby girl, God has an AMAZING plan for your life!" "But you and mom are the missionaries, I'm not." "Yes you are babe. You can go up to little boys and girls who are sad or sick and offer to pray for them." "I can? But I would be scared." "I know, pretty girl, but God tell us in Joshua 1:9 "don't be scared or discouraged. And I will be with you and I'll never leave you." "God will help me not be scared?" "Yes babe." "Ok Daddy." At this point, I almost couldn't speak because of emotions. She honestly thought that God couldn't use her, that he called Jenn and I to Africa, but not her. Dad, it's your responsibility to teach your children! You have a calling, the highest calling to train up your children in the way they should go. Mady has heard literally 100's of my messages throughout the years, but until today, it never clicked for her. You can't depend on a sunday school teacher or pastor to spiritually train your children. There is just simply no replacement for a loving, caring, intentional parent.

3. Dads, you need to spend more than just an hour a week or a date night per month with your daughters and sons. I spend quality, intentional time with Mady each day (Sam and Hannah get quality time too). It took a few weeks, but she's starting to open up now. The first day riding, all we did was ride. The second day, she started opening up. Now, we have open communication. It's never too early (or too late) to start these dialogues. I didn't really start having these open dialogues with my dad until I was in my 20's and 30's, but I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world now. Mady doesn't care how much I know until she knows how much I care.

4. Dads, don't rush things. Sometimes, we walk more than we ride. The goal is not a 4 mile bike ride. The goal is not to finish in record time. The goal is relational growth. (When we get back to the house, I drop her off and go out for a quick 10 km ride for my exercise). Don't push them. We have years to encourage, strengthen and edify them. If Mady is scared to film a video about talking to boys and girls about Jesus, DON'T PUSH! She'll come around, but today she just wants to learn how to skip rocks in Ripple Pond. Dad, your daughter is fragile, she's tender. Treat her like a princess and she'll grow up to adore the king. 

I've had a gut check. A perspective check. A heart check. I can minister to 200 3-15 year olds on a Sunday morning and keep them spellbound for an hour and a half, but if I don't minister to my own 3 children, I've lost. I've lost the battle. I've lost the war. Turn off the TV (easy for me to say, we don't have one), power off the cell phone (oh my word, DON'T take it on your daddy/daughter date. Are you kidding me? What could POSSIBLY be MORE IMPORTANT than those precious eyes that adore you?) How about instead of surfing the internet, you go find a big box, cut some windows and doors in it, color and decorate it, and then take your daughter to the store, buy a new Barbie, go back home, and lay on the floor and dream and imagine with her about the prince coming to save the princess? You'll never regret one second of this priceless time. Be intentional Dad and she'll come to you for every step of this crazy journey we call life. 

PS. By the way, thanks to my amazing wife for encouraging me to spend more time with the kids. This pains me to say it, but she was right...