Sleeping through the Storm

"Where is your faith?" Luke 8:25

What a crazy question to ask considering all of the circumstances. Allow me to paint a picture of the scenario.

Jesus and his disciples are out on a lake going from one side to the other in a sail boat. It must've been a long, hard journey across the lake or Jesus had had a long, hard day because as they sailed, he goes to sleep. Now, put yourself in this picture. You're out in a boat, out in the middle of the lake. The disciples are laboring hard to keep the vessel afloat. The waves are picking up. The wind starts to howl. The boat is getting water-logged and you decide to take a nap? "Wow, Jesus, you're welcome for the free lift across the lake but we're about to die!" What they didn't understand was it was all a part of the Master's plan.

You see, Jesus uses the circumstances of their day to teach the disciples a lesson on faith. And it transcends 2000 years all the way to today. We would do well to apply this passage to our own lives.

What do we learn from this simple passage found in Luke 8:22-25?

First, we see that the disciples at least at one time had faith. They used to have faith. Jesus asks, "Where is your faith?" Where has your faith gone? They had faith at one time. At least at one time, their faith was strong. Probably because their circumstances were strong and secure. See, it's easy to claim to have faith when things are going our way. When my kids are healthy, it's easy to have faith. Faith is easy when my ministry is fully-funded. When my marriage is strong. But is that real, honest, true faith? If it wavers in the storms of life, than I would suggest that what we have is optimism. Kind of like joy vs. happiness. I'm called to have joy but if my joy wavers in the storms of life, what I really have is happiness. Happiness is an emotion based on external circumstances. If things are going well in life I can claim to have joy but in reality what I am experiencing is happiness. The followers of Jesus continued in joy even though they had been flogged (nearly beaten to death) for the name of Jesus! (Acts 5:40-41) Wait, what? How? What a difference between living a faulty, fake, shallow "happy and optimistic" life as opposed to a life of "joy and faith." What's the difference?  

Perspective.

Jesus goes to sleep in the middle of the storm. Now, sleep is a regular, normal and good thing. I love sleep. But when I'm out in an open sail boat with the waves rocking the helm, that's not a normal time to sleep! I'd be panic-stricken. (I hate sharks.) But Jesus falls asleep. Wait, what? How? Why? He's at rest. Did you hear that? He's at rest. That's what true faith looks like. True faith (true utter abandonment, true submission and true belief and trust in God) is at REST no matter the circumstances. Now, Jesus could've grabbed a pail and helped bail out the water, but instead he chose this opportunity to communicate a life lesson.

Do I have true faith or do I have optimism? The waves and storms of life are sure to come. They will pound you. You will lose a job. You or someone you know will get sick, or even worse. You will have more month left than you do money. You'll kick the dog and blow a gasket towards your spouse. The storms are life are sure to come. Will your faith endure?

We are called to battle the storms of life as Jesus did. At rest and by faith. Faith in God. "Jesus got up, rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided and all was calm." Jesus can calm the storm, but only in his timing and according to his will. Calming the storm is a principle, not a promise. The principle part is our faith in him no matter the circumstances. True belief and abandonment to God requires us to have a proper perspective - having a view of the other side of the storm. Either on this side of the grave or the other. Sometimes the storms aren't as fierce as we think they are. If you're in a little row boat out in the storm, you think you're about to be overcome. But if you go up in a little prop plane, you can easily see from one shore to the other and the storm doesn't look nearly as imposing. The difference? Perspective.

If your circumstances have changed and you feel your faith starting to waver, ask God for perspective. Ask Him for rest. It's impossible for us - we are conditioned to fear and panic. But he was able to be "at rest" even in the storms of life. That's a principle for you and I today.

May you be blessed.

"Come on kids, let's go trick-or-treating"

Jenn and I struggle each year whether or not to take the kids out on halloween. What kid doesn't like to dress up and get boatloads of candy? I like dressing up and getting boatloads of candy. The last couple of years have been easy as we've been on another continent or in another state and had things going on. But this year is different. 

In May we purchased a new home here in Charleston, IL. We sold our last house in 2013 and we're so glad we saved the money from that sale to help with our downpayment. God gave us wisdom there. (We thought it was going to be in 20 years after we retired from our missions work in Africa but it wasn't to be.) Most likely if you're in the area, we've invited you over. We have friends and family in our home multiple times each week and we love it. Students from EIU are in our home all the time for hangouts, to talk with us, use our spotty wi-fi and to participate in weekly prayer and planning times for campus ministry and for leadership training. It's a blast. And yes, we've already been "TP'ed" once. The students have christened the home.

We've always looked at our home as "God's property" and we're just the stewards. We've enjoyed opening up our home for game nights, cookouts, movies and lots of cups of coffee.  And we have awesome neighbors. I think. And therein lies the problem.

We chat with 4 or 5 of our immediate neighbors frequently. We're all out in our yards hanging out, cutting the grass, walking the dogs and so on, a lot. But who's on the other side of that neighbor? Who lives 6 doors down? I don't know. I don't even know their names. They wave when they pass but that's about it. We live in a pretty small neighborhood and we're on a circle drive. There's only about 20 houses on the circle drive and we live on the back side so we drive by every house in our neighborhood on the way home (pending on which way we go on the circle drive). We know approximately 1/3 of our neighbors on first name basis but that's it. About a month ago, I had an epiphany. Go trick-or-treating.

I hate Halloween. It's by far my least favorite holiday of the year. I hate getting scared. I hate violence and gore. I don't like the undertones of halloween and to me, the night is so oppressive, it's palpable. I feel it. Every year. But what an opportunity. "Wait, what?"

See, here's the deal: our neighbors are inviting us over for the first time to their homes and it may be the only time all year that this happens. Most of our neighbors I rarely see. The president of EIU lives 5 doors down. I've seen him exactly one time (pulling into his driveway) in 5 months. We've emailed professionally back and forth and I've seen him all over campus but I've not chatted with him as a neighbor. He's never home. 

Jesus calls us to be his witness in our neighborhoods. Acts 5:42 "And every day, in the temple and from house to house, they kept right on teaching and preaching Jesus as the Christ." Many times we get amp'd up to be his witness on a week long summer missions trip. Or we are his witness one night a month at the local food pantry where we can volunteer. Or when we take food to the hungry around Thanksgiving (by far my favorite holiday of the year) or when we send out Operation Christmas Child boxes. But what about our neighbors? Quite frankly, shouldn't we be as excited to be Jesus to them as we are on a summer missions trip (Acts 1:8)? Did God or didn't God plant us in this neighborhood to be his representative? 

What a great way to meet our neighbors by going trick-or-treating with the kids, introducing ourselves, learning their names and begining a friendship. Now, don't be a chicken and just go trick or treating without introducing yourself. Be intentional. Be Jesus.  

I just hope they leave their light on.

I need to publicly acknowledge that I've been dating other people.

It's not easy for me to go public with this announcement. I guess when you become vulnerable, it can get tricky. There comes a point where we all need to come clean. But how will people respond? What will the longterm affects be? Am I making the wrong choice? I'm sure you've been in a situation like that, but maybe not with an announcement that has this many ramifications.

I've done a lot of contemplation recently. I've talked to a lot of people and I think I'm finally to the point to go public. The Bible tells me what to do. I need to be obedient and step up to the plate and pull up my big boy pants.  I've already had open dialog with Jenn about this. She's in agreement and we'll get through this...together. We'll be stronger in the end. It really is for the better.

I'm publicly acknowledging that I've been dating other people.

Before you judge, please read on. Hear my heart. Maybe you won't make the same choices I have in the past. I let things go in the past, for far too long. I became complacent, apathetic and the burdens of life impacted my decision-making. Weariness can lead to a lot of poor decisions. I didn't spend enough time focusing on "Soul Health" and things sorta slipped away. Not overnight, mind you, but over time. After a while I got sick and tired of being who I was. I looked for other things of importance and I left the most valuable things and chased after a plastic masquerade.

See, things aren't always as they appear. I've not been real open with my struggles. I've hinted. I've beat around the bush. The fact is, it's hard for me to even type these words.

In a moment of desperation, I gave up. I surrendered and I gave in. To do something I've never done before. I started to date other people. And it's been one of the greatest decisions I've ever made.

You see, I believe the Bible teaches that I CAN date people, even though I'm married. And my wife encourages these kind of relationships. You see, I started dating Mady, Sam and Hannah. Yup. My 3 kiddos.

I've never dated my kids before and it's been awesome.

We now have every Monday night set aside for date nights. Hannah gets a Monday. Sam gets the next one. Mady gets the next. Mom gets the fourth Monday but then we still go out for dates other times in the month too. 

Men, let me challenge you: date your kids! They want to spend one-on-one time with their Daddy. They are starved for intimate time with Dad. They love to hear stories and they want to know how your day has gone. I've put together a list for us Dads. Please follow them.

1. Oh my goodness, don't you dare! Don't you dare even bring your cellphone! Are you kidding me? Leave it at home. What if someone dies? You'll find out about it when you get home. Talk with your spouse and find out before you go if there's ANYTHING she needs before you leave. You'll only be gone an hour or two. The world will not stop while you are away. Remember when we were kids? I had a rotary phone - with a cord! No cell phones. No internet. I didn't even have a VCR until I was in the 3rd grade. For crying out loud, don't you dare bring your cell phone. This time is for you and your son or daughter. Don't deprive them (and really disrespect them) by looking at your phone during your date.

2. Do schedule your monthly dates on your phone - with a reminder/alert. I schedule every other important meeting in my life, what could possibly be more important than my Monday night dates with my kids? And I don't reschedule them either. Someone important wants to get together? "Sorry, I'm getting together with my princess on Monday night. How about Tuesday?"

3. Oh my word, don't be lame. Don't go to McDonald's every week. Don't go to a movie. You know what we live by? YOLO! We snuck onto the football field on campus and rode our bikes. We looked for snakes out at the State Park. We practiced "hula-hooping" in Walgreens and then returned them to the shelf. We ate Snickers bars without telling the siblings. We ate popcorn for dinner. We went to the park and I talked in a high pitched girl voice the whole time. One of these days, we'll go out and get a hotel room - because we can. One day, we'll go the airport with no bags and buy an airline ticket to somewhere on the spot (have to save up for that one). I'd love to go TP the neighbors or buy flowers for someone at the nursing home. YOLO people. You know know why? They grow up. And they grow up fast.

4. Ask them questions. Start "training them up." I recently asked Mady on an outing if she knew how to share the gospel? She got about half of it right and I helped fill in the gaps. At dinner each night we ask what the best part of each of their days was. And then we ask what their least favorite part of the day was. We pray with each of them individually before they go to bed each night. But our date nights are/will be special. Don't sit quietly. Ask them about the books they've read. About their friends. What are they scared of? How YOU can be a better Dad.  Ask questions and listen...and take notes.

5. Enjoy the time with your kids. How many times have we heard (or maybe have said) "They grow up so fast!" Well, it's true. I have an 8 year old and twin 6 year olds. I have about 10 years with Mady left and 12 years with the twins. That's about 500 dates with Mady if my math is right. Maybe your son or daughter is 16 or 17 and they'll be off to college in just a few short years (gulp). Now is the time to start. The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today.

I've started dating other people...and I like it. I've gone public with this announcement not so much for you...but for me. To keep me accountable. So, the next time you see me, ask to get together on a Monday night and see what my response is. It had better be, "I'm spending time with a prince or a princess."