A Change of Perspective On Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is by far my favorite holiday of the year. I like Christmas too, but there's always so much hustle and bustle that it wears me out. The kids love Christmas and so it is fun to decorate and count down the days and enjoy their excitement. But Thanksgiving is all about returning to our roots and spending a day being thankful. A little food, family, friends and football don't hurt either. This Thanksgiving, I got a change of perspective.

I lost my dad in June. We buried him on Father's Day weekend (after he had a stroke on Mother's Day). I knew that Thanksgiving wouldn't be the same, and it's the first major holiday that normally we would have been together. Things definitely changed after I got married (for the better, obviously) but the holidays are still usually celebrated with parents. Earlier this week I came home from running some errands and just sitting in my truck for about 5 minutes thinking about Thursday. I knew it would be tough, and I knew it would be difficult to go to my Uncle Maurie's house, his only brother. This is most likely what we would have done had he not passed just like every other year. We still planned on going to my uncle's, but it was with a heavy heart. I've only seen my aunt and uncle and my cousins once since the funeral. Little did we know that things would be drastically different this year...but for a different reason.

Jenn wasn't feeling well all morning. She really wanted to make a homemade apple pie to take to my side of the family for lunch and another one for her side of the family for dinner. I remember looking at her, as she was sitting at the table hunched over, and slowly peeling an apple. She didn't look well, and she said she felt horrible. It was bad enough by mid-morning that I asked her if she wanted to stay home. She said no, that she didn't want to mess up Thanksgiving with our family. By the time we got to my uncles, a half an hour away, she could barely move. Her stomach was aching and she ended up not eating anything and laying down in the back of our suburban. After lunch I checked on her and she said she couldn't get comfortable. After about 20 minutes, she came back inside and at that point I knew something was wrong. I asked her a few questions and as everybody listened in, I told her I thought it was a possible appendicitis (she said it didn't feel like an ovarian cyst, which she's had in the past). Everyone agreed, and my mom kept the kids, and I drove her car (let's just say rapidly) to the ER. Thankfully (no pun intended) there was NO ONE in the ER. Waiting room was empty, and after checking in and going through triage, we were immediately taken back to a room to be evaluated by the medical staff. Her urinalysis was negative and the blood work was inconclusive, and so a sonogram was ordered. It indicated no abnormalities with the reproductive organs, so a CT scan was ordered. The CT scan showed an appendicitis, which hadn't ruptured yet, thank goodness. The surgeon came in for a consultation and by 7:00 pm she was on the operating table. We had gotten to the ER at 1:30 pm.

My whole perspective has changed. I am thankful for the (very) quick meal I had for lunch. I'm thankful I got to watch football all afternoon and evening in the ER and waiting room. I'm thankful for my family and Jenn's mom who kept me company during the surgery (or I kept her company). I'm thankful for all of our friends that sent awesome messages via facebook and text messaging. But you want to know the thing that stuck out to me the most? As Jenn was being wheeled into the OR, we held hands and had a chance to pray together. It was short and to the point. When we said amen, everyone in the area had stopped, and the nurse pushing Jenn's bed said "amen" with us. At that point I knew. I knew the Lord was watching over us. The Lord still cared, and my wife, my babydoll, was in His hands. He orchestrated the whole day. This certainly wasn't the day that I asked for or what I initially wanted, but somehow this was apart of His plan. How can I complain about my awesome and incredible Jesus? How can I be saddened that MY plans didn't pan out? How can I in any way question God? His ways are so much higher than my ways. His thoughts are so much higher than my thoughts.

The day after the surgery, Jenn told me that God spoke to her. He told her to "Slow down." She's been working non-stop on her jewelry business. It's been good for the business, but tough on all of us. The Lord was getting her attention, just like when he got mine when I had my accident. His exact words to me, even before my car slowed down were, "Mark, you need to slow down." It was perfectly clear. He's getting our attention, He's calling our name, and He's wanting us to slow down. "Mark and Jenn, you need to slow down. Listen to my voice. And have a clarity of perspective." What am I absolutely thankful for this year? My God. He saved my wife from further harm and He called our names, again. 

"I am yours, Lord. Do with me whatever you choose."

Economic Game Theory

We are all presented with choices and the tendency is to focus on the self and gratifying the selfish desire. The Lord has been teaching me to think of others first, but it's just so contradictory to the natural man. My context as an only child only deepened my selfish ambitions. When I started dating Jennifer (she's the only girl that I seriously dated) it quickly dawned on me that I am inherently full of self. Learning to think of her and then to think more highly of her was a difficult journey. To say that I'm still on the journey is an accurate assessment of my current position. The Lord keeps speaking to me though and I want to instill in my children certain values and close to the top of that list is "otherness." Learning to think of others, serve others, and to see through other's eyes. I want my children to be like Christ, and take the lowly road as needed.

I know the following dialog that I had with Mady is considered economic game theory, but I put Madalyn through a test to address her perspective.

She helped out at MCC today with Operation Christmas Child and she ran some "boring" errands with me to the bank and the post office. I stopped off at the gas station to fill up our SUV and she asked me for some "Bug Juice." It's this very sweet, sugary drink that's like Kool-Aid on steroids. The kids love them and our local gas station carries them. They are a special treat for the kids. I decided to teach Mady a lesson.

I told her that she could have the Bug Juice if she was willing to give 2/3 of her juice to Sam and Hannah. She didn't like this idea at all. She said she wanted her own juice and she wanted all of it. I went on to explain that she would still get quite a bit of juice, but the right decision would also benefit Sam and Hannah, as they would be recipients of Bug Juice. She told me she wanted her own drink. I told her that my was my offer and it was final, and as I closed the truck door, I told her to think about it, and let me know her decision. If she wasn't willing to share, I wasn't willing to get her a juice at all.

After about 30 seconds, she opened up the door and said that she wanted to share. I told her that I was proud of her, and her decision not only blessed her, but also blessed her brother and sister. When we went in, I actually got 2 juices for them (they're pretty small) explaining that God blesses those that seek to bless others. When we got home, her brother and sister were ecstatic that they got some. I had them all sit down and I explained that because Mady was willing to share, even though she got a little less, they were the recipients of her selflessness. 

"Lord, continue to help me think of others, like Christ did." 

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. 1 Peter 4:10

Trip planned and update

I continue to be amazed at the goodness of God. Jennifer and I have been asking for confirmation regarding God's timing. We heard back from BMI and it looks as though I will be heading to SA Feb 14-26. I have been granted time off from work. I'm very excited about the trip and asking the Lord for confirmation on His will. If he wants us to move there, we are willing. If he wants us to stay, we will stay. But we are certainly sensing the call of God. If we don't go, who will? It's been 10 years since Meadowbrook Community Church has sent out a full time career missionary. If we don't go, who will? If God has spoken to us, and he has, what objections can I have? Life is too short, we only live once and we want our life to matter. It certainly has significance here in Champaign, and we are involved in many ministries, but at this point, we now consider them preparatory work for the missions field. Not everyone is called, but if you are...go.

My shoulder continues to progress rapidly. I have the "Big Bertha" sling off now and I started Physical Therapy at the Carle North Annex last Monday. Initially, they indicated that I would be in PT several times a week along with my daily exercises, for a solid year. Based on my rapid progression, I've been down-graded to about a 6-7 month full release. We thank the Lord for what He is doing. 

If things go as we expect them to go in February, let the whirlwind begin. I think I'll be most saddened about selling my home. It's where our kids have grown up. I've put my blood, sweat and tears into that home. But alas, brick and mortar can easily be replaced. Besides, as I told Mady last week, it's not the house that makes a home, it's the family who lives there. Certainly I will miss our friends and family, but at least we can stay in touch with them electronically and visit each year. Please pray for us, we will have a large annual budget to fund-raise. I've been reading a lot on the subject recently. I'm actually praying that the Lord helps us to raise the funds in 100 days. It's a lofty goal, but I'm a goal-oriented individual and I'm up to the challenge.